Gettin' jiggy wit it in My Unpredictable Life ...

So since you are all dying to know how it went when I went into work at 3pm, I'll start with that ...

"Why are you here so early? I thought you were going to be late?"

"Yeah, but I've never been late, not even by 2 minutes in the 7+ months I've been working here, and the idea of being late today was not sitting well with my OCD so I signed her out of school early."

"I told you it would be okay to be late."

"Yeah, I know. But it wasn't okay by me. I wasn't about to ruin my perfect record."

"Well if it was bothering you that much, you could have called & I would have clocked you in ha ha."

"Yeah, I would have still known, in my head. Besides, I don't ride the clock so that would have not set well with me either."

"So, I have a question for you. Do you think you would be able to work 3-11 on Feb. 19? That is Coop's birthday so I know he would appreciate having it off."

"Yeah, sure, I can work that. Besides, there is no reason why Coop should be scheduled to work it or any other day as long as I am available. There are 4 of us and only 2 shifts a day. So as long as I am not already scheduled to work, I am available to work. Unless I've already requested it off. Coop should never be scheduled to work before me since he is technically not an employee, only a fill in for emergencies."

"Ok, I'll let him know that you will work his birthday for him."

Effin' Bitch. He was only put on the schedule because Jimena was scheduled and now needs every Wednesday off and for whatever reason, Ruth can't (if she was even asked?), and Shelia is already scheduled to come in at 11 that night. So duh! she should have come to me first instead of her 16 year old son!

So, in a nutshell, I didn't get to see the look on their faces when I walked in because they were just coming out of a room at the end of the hall when I went to walk behind the counter. No biggie. And I managed to pick up an extra day that week next month. WooHoo.

As I was counting the cash drawer (which pisses her off because I refuse to take her word for it, or anyone's word for it. I won't sign for the drawer until I have counted it. I'm all about the CYA - Cover Your Ass), Tami was getting her paperwork together to go check rooms to make sure they were clean. So there I am, counting the drawer, Tami has her stuff together and says, "I'm going to go check rooms. I'll be back in a minute." Out of the back office, just as serious as she can be, Joleen yells out, "You got the cum light?"

!!!!!!!

I slowly turn my head towards Tami as she slowly turns her head towards me, we just look each other in the eyes, sober looks upon our faces. It was if time had stood still. Then, as if coming out of a trance, Tami says, "Yes Mom, I have the cum light." She then looks at me, again with the sober face and says, "Well, those are words I never thought I would say to my Mom." Then she turns around and walks off.

I don't think shock would be an accurate description of what Tami and I were feeling at that moment, but it's the closet one I can think of. Joleen is 76 years old. She is not a prude but she is of the generation that anything of that nature is not talked about. In any kind of context. I guess it is just one of those things you never thought you would hear coming out of her mouth. I would have loved to have seen Bill's reaction hearing his mother say that. But then again, she probably wouldn't have said it that way if he had been there.

For the record, it is a Blacklight ...

It is used to "make sure that the housekeeper's changed the bed sheets/comforter and to determine if the furniture needs to be thrown out". Different "fluids" show up differently under the blacklight. And you are very thankful that hotels use them. Well most hotels anyway.

So yeah ....

Once again Hubby managed to shock me. He doesn't do it very often. He's so predictable. So when he pays me a compliment, it is a major shock to my system. However minor the compliment is.

"SWEET BLACK BABY JEEBUS! Got a 95 on my Watergate thesis and a 96 for the class. I'm starting to think XXXX 2016 has a nice ring to it."

Then, in the comments section he adds this ...

"Plus, not a single spelling or grammar issue at all. Shout out to all my English teachers in High School, Word 2007 and Da Wife for proof reading. Honestly, I think that is the better milestone than the research."

Better last on the thank you's than not at all, I suppose.

Someone want to tell me just what in the hell I am supposed to do with the used toilet paper?

That was on the back of stall door in a restaurant bathroom here in town ....

(for the record, I threw the used toilet paper in the toilet. Enough said.)

Till next time ....