Keep running. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Hung out with Caty tonight. I wasn't even nervous, it was more morbid curiosity how hanging out with her would go. I met her through Elissa, which means, if these hang-outs continue, I will have made another... in-person friend-type person. Which in itself is pretty flabbergasting. I said to Caty, "I don't make friends easily" to which she seemed surprised. She said I'm "nice and funny." Which is such an obvious thing, yet not something I'm told enough. Conversation was pretty easy. She also fed me, which is always endearing. I've made my moratorium clear, and have babbled about my circumstances and past bad luck. I didn't want to take any chances with sending off mixed signals; my bluntness comes in handy in explicitly stating what I want and what my expectations are.

Hung out with Angie yesterday. I love Angie, but I felt reserved. We both fell asleep during Sharknado. Oh man, was that a bad movie. I was putzing through my netflix queue and picked Movie 43. Oh man. Oh my god, this is totally up my alley. I need to expose everybody I know to this movie.

Tomorrow is probably Erik and Liz. I have Friday off, which makes me nervous. I tend to get really depressed on my days off. So before I left, I asked Caty if she was doing anything. I made plans to hang out before she has work. So. That'll give me SOMETHING. Elissa has my saturday night and probably my sunday.

I have to keep busy. I have to. Depression is just such a funny monster. I don't even know what's weighing me down, but I know I have to keep moving. I know I can't spend too much time alone or my mind will crush me under its own weight. Time. I need to heal. Find me, find the best me. Find what I want to be. Figure out what I want, what I like. Be confident in the best me that I can be. Only then will I attracted girls who actually like me for me. As I say, my evolution didn't change me. It only made me more myself.