It's Not That... in meh...

It’s not that I believed her. I mean when it comes to that side of the family, there has always been an element of building up hopes and letting people down. So that eas my fault. I should have known better.

So my financial situation hadn’t changed. I was still unable to get a dress or a ticket to dad’s birthday festivities. I was on vacation this week and I went over there. Hung out with the family. My adopted sister, older sister took me home. I told her that I wanted to go but I just didn’t have the money or an outfit. She said that she needed to go shopping. Asked my size and everything. We’ll work something out.

What got worked out is that I was left out. It hurts to an extent but again I should have known better. I get looked at like an outsider and it feels that way. Maybe I ostracize myself.

So I was trying to make myself available just in case I wasn’t being made a fool of. My niece said she was going to the church tomorrow. Now she’s not going being spiteful.

I never have all the parts of my life working at the same time and it’s frustrating.

So, I have to find a way to get to church tomorrow. Then again my feelings are a bit sensitive still so maybe I will skip that too.

It’s not daddy’s fault. It would be me taking it out on him and he didn’t do anything but have a quadruple bypass.

Just once I’d like to not be facing some type of emotional crisis while I’m PMSing. It irks me.

heavy sigh

I guess I’ll just go to bed.
Don’t have anything else to do.

Kindest regards,
Sister