to the tune of Lorde's ROYALS in song parodies

I’ve never put a scalpel into flesh
I close my eyes for surgeries in the movies
and I’m not proud of my weakness
but I near pass out… for routine testing

but everybody’s like foreskins, smegma, it’s an old tradition
less infections, part of the religion
we don’t care, you can just do it when we’re not there
but everybody’s like titles, respect, commute is a short trip
easy, good pay, just a little snip-snip
close our eyes, someone else has to the circumcise

and we’ll never be mohels (mohels)
we can’t stand the sight of blood
the ritual just ain’t for us
we’d rather call a doctor, bud
even with a ruler (ruler)
I don’t have that great a grip
we’ll pay the dude, the dude, the dude, the dude
but you’ll have to leave the tip

it’s not that we’re all not grateful
we cherish the invites you sent to the party
everybody knows your offer was quite generous
it’s not about the money

but everybody’s like foreskins, smegma, it’s an old tradition
less infections, part of the religion
we don’t care, you can just do it when we’re not there
but everybody’s like titles, respect, commute is a short trip
easy, good pay, just a little snip-snip
close our eyes, someone else has to the circumcise

ooh ooh oh, I’m flattered that you thought to ask
still I’m just not up to the task, ooh ooh oh
really have to close my eyes
someone else will have to circumcise

because we’ll never be mohels (mohels)
we can’t stand the sight of blood
the ritual just ain’t for us
we’d rather call a doctor, bud
even with a ruler (ruler)
I don’t have that great a grip
we’ll pay the dude, the dude, the dude, the dude
but you’ll have to leave the tip