Psycho. in Since OD is shutting down....

So my friend told me that Eric had posted a profile picture of himself and said something about he was crying in that picture because he had revealed to his girlfriend he may or may not be a Dad. I think it’s crazy that he knocks me up, moves to another state but wants everyone to feel sorry for HIM?!?!!? He’s tried so hard to make this situation about himself since I got pregnant and it’s really starting to piss me off.

This motherfucker has NO FUCKING IDEA what I go through day in and day out with working and not always feeling well, buying baby stuff by myself, and having little to no support but yet wants everyone to make him feel like it’s okay to abandon ME?! That makes a lot of fucking sense. I’m not here wanting anyone to feel sorry for me because I’m handling this like an adult, which he still hasn’t done nor will he in the future.

I’m really confused how he wants attention from everyone when he did the easy part. He got me pregnant and left. He hasn’t had to deal with any of the consequences of this situation (at least not yet) and obviously doesn’t care about me or what it is to not only carry a child, but then have to worry about the future. I get to be the one to make sure she’s in a good daycare while I’m working, make sure she’s always safe, and plan on being a single parent while he runs amock without a fucking care in the world!

Every time I hear anything about him it makes me so fucking glad him and I aren’t in contact anymore. This guy is the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever encountered and I’m seriously sick of him acting like he’s some kind of victim! Who has actually victimized who? I get to be pregnant, lie to everyone at work and make them believe we are together when in fact I come home to an empty house with no kind of help on the daily and yet, he wants acknowledgement for being a sperm donor?! Like, wow.

Literally I’m so fucking sick of dealing with people like this where they don’t give 2 fucks what they’ve done to me and yet somehow, I’m still the bad guy. I get to take on all of this by myself and they couldn’t care fucking less. It’s kinda like when I finally get pissed off and tell my brother how I feel and yet again, I’m the bad guy. They have to make me out to be the bad guy and it’s all my fault because they aren’t going to change their behavior or the way they treat me.

Everyone in my life is so difficult. I’ve also decided that since no one came to my ultrasound that I’m not going to try and involve any of them anymore. It’s nothing more than a waste of my fucking time and I just end up sad and angry. If people want to be involved they would be, I shouldn’t have to beg and plead for their involvement. It’s so crazy how little these people care about me or even my unborn child but there’s nothing I can do about it. I appreciate my Mom coming to at least a couple of my appointments but I feel that I’ve wasted enough energy trying to get people to care that I just won’t do it anymore.

My ex that passed away used to tell me that he’s never seen anyone with parents like mine. They are actually embarrassingly selfish and I hate even talking about them. I accept that my family doesn’t care about me and never will. It doesn’t make a fucking bit of difference how much I’ve done for them, how many times I’ve gone broke helping them but they just can’t bring themselves to give a shit about me.

Anyways, I’m gonna go make breakfast.