reminiscing in A new era

it's funny isn't it, how you change without even realising.

i've been reading over my downloaded diary, there was something weird with the formatting so i've been going through correcting it and having a read as i'm going along.

i spent two and a half years with chris, and it caused no end of bother between laura and i - she's my best friend and chris's sister. at the time i thought she was causing so much trouble between us, and that dave was so bad for her. now when i read over what i wrote, it's so apparent that chris was manipulating me. i've recorded so many events throughout our relationship, things we spoke about, things he said, things i said, and now when i read it it's entirely obvious that things weren't as they seemed at all.

the funny thing is that chris is still entirely manipulative, he tells his wife all kinds of lies about being in business meetings when he's in the pub, and has even told her that he's dropped their daughter at nursery and headed off to work, when in fact he'd taken her to the zoo for the day because she was crying when he went to drop her off so he didn't bother.

and now laura is married to dave. when i read back over the things that chris said to me about dave, and about his and laura's relationship, i wonder how i could have ever been so naive to have believed a single thing he said. it's perfectly obvious i had deluded myself throughout the whole relationship, and he had twisted the truth at every opportunity to keep me where he wanted me.

isn't it crazy how things work out. i can hardly believe the person i was when i read back over my entries from years gone by. you don't even notice yourself changing, but i'm about a million miles away from the person i was then. and reading back over how stupid and naive i was, i can only be glad that i've grown and matured and hopefully am better at reading people and judging characters.

xx