Time to really move on in Torridaussity Two

So much has been going on, nothing bad, just busy busy busy. My title is in reference to finally getting a clear answer that I will never have a future with A even though he loves me. It is time to move on now that in my heart I know he will never feel the same I can do that fully. I have tried in the past and I have never stopped looking for someone who will love me completely, but in the back of my head he lingered…now it is time to move forward. I cried, not as much as I thought probably because in my head I knew this is how it would be. I have been talking to someone as friends, but honestly I have my doubts that he has been completely honest with me and I have so many trust issues he sends up red flags as a possible scammer, but then he does something completely different that a scammer wouldn’t do. I guess time will tell he is nice and he is kind and well until he scams me or doesn’t he is someone to talk to so I am not so lonely. Pathetic maybe, but it’s what I have. I will be 37 this week and well don’t want to be alone in a sense even if he turns out to be a liar.
In some happy news I am heading to Germany this summer to see a best friend get married and while there I will be spending a few days in Sweden. I am excited. Later in the summer I am going to Seattle to visit other friends.
I am able to do these things because one I have been allowed overtime at work and will also for the first time in about 10 years have full hours over the summer and also because my parents gave me a small amount of money through their inheritance when my grandfather passed. I am so blessed to have family who supports me. I have much to love about my life and try to focus on those things and can for the most part. Just times like today where I feel my singleness deeply.
Anyway hope you are all well. I read you all, might not note all the time, but I read.

Edit: So the dude who I knew was really a scammer, finally tried today and got the hint that I am not stupid and will not be stupid enough to give him my bank account details. I am so done with men for awhile. This is not worth my time or energy.

Last updated June 05, 2017