loathing in poetry

the truth of it is
there is no Freak Kingdom
not anymore anyway
of course, was there ever one?
if there was, it was not around for me to see
before my birth in time and in space as well
is the idea a Freak Kingdom ever existing
a gentle prank out forerunners are playing on us
a double reverse marketing scheme gone awry
was there ever a unitary Place For Us at all?
never mind
for the purposes of this exercise, we’ll be charitable
we’ll pretend that we weren’t being lied to
or advertised to
or accepting a past misremembered by the senile or drug addled
let us assume there was once a Place For Us
that there was a Freak Kingdom
that there were hundreds of Freak Kingdoms
that the sky would darken when Freak Kingdoms flew in packs
that Gold Rushers would shoot Freak Kingdoms off the trains for fun
that we were once lousy with them

if there ever was a Freak Kingdom to return to
it is now surely gone
if there ever was one
it was paved over for the Smiling God Wal-Mart to rise up
spread that sick green fluorescent light across an already blighted land
to choke us suckers out with volume selling instead of riot hoses
oh, there are Freak Bunkers, of course
Freak Boltholes, Freak Frontier Battlements
manic Freak Clusters here and there where
I guess they haven’t outlawed words yet
but a Kingdom? a Freak Kingdom?
they haven’t had that spirit here since 1869

oh there are Freak Simulation Parks
sponsored by Livenation and Pepsicola or whatever
you can even see Beyonce there if they pay her ten mil to show up
I’m certain there are all kinds of Freak VR Games
you can put on your little helmet and pretend
ten million Freak Chatrooms where six billion sit around
and talk about freaking but never freak for a fucking second
are Phish still around? I have no idea, I’ve never stoned ENOUGH to give a damn
are they all dead now? are they all health-food-bar CEOs?
if they’re still around they might let you pay them 500 dollars
to sell grilled cheese in a fucking auditorium parking lot for weed money
pretend that you’re Freaks for the weekend like
dentists with motorbikes playing Hell’s Angel once a year at Struges?

all I can tell you is
there’s no Freak Kingdom now
there’s nowhere to run away to
best I can think by way of suggestion
is to build a Freak Bunker in your own backyard
even if there isn’t a Place For Us
you can still be amoung Us in some small way
hunker down
freak as much as you can get away with
and wait for something magical to change
or not
and at least know
you freaked your best in your tiny corner
of this Dull Goddamn Normal Wilderness