spring. er welllast spring. in 2017. got it.

may 25th: ‘ um so we had a meeting today we have them every month. and it was. well it went well it was just hard. we talked about me getting my own place i had some questions on that. also my roommate was present during the meeting due to extenuating [well probably ‘extenuating’ since i don’t actually know her situation i mean i can guess......anyway] and personal circumstances. so that made me nervous. and so i felt more awkward than usual. um yeah wow. today wasn’t bad but um it wasn’t one of my best either.

‘ well. i didn’t have a good morning. so my friend called [no actually that was the good part. untill the end] and at the end he got all agitated. over a legitimate thing someone wouldn’t like. and then i started to go places........and well like the song says when it end it ends in tears. [‘the song’ being ‘a house is not a home’]. and i yeah no. and then at 5 there was this loud alarm just blaring. and i didn’t think it was the fire drill thingy.er smoke alarm or the door alarm cause those both have a voice w/ them. and i’m thinking ok i don’t care how you shut the thing off just do it. well it was someone’s alarm clock. those things are loud. which is the point. like yeah i’ll get up but i won’t be in good company once i do. and then......other stuff happened today. of note i mean.

from may 17th: ‘ oh wow. so i’d bought quite a lot of items [in fact 6 bags full. which means i have food now yay] and when i was at the self checkout the 2nd time the lady asks ‘do you need a basket?’ but i wasn’t sure if she was talking to me. and then the last time she asks me and then is like ‘are you walking?’ like as in is that how i got to the store. ok when people say ‘basket’ i think of a shopping basket. um well yeah but yall keep taking them w/o asking if the person is done [i make 1 - 2 rounds of the store after my 1st] so. i would like to be acknowledged in that way. if she meant a cart she should’ve said that. like i know i’m small and the stuff is heavy but lady you really don’t ‘need’ to take care of me. i’m 28 yrs. old so. and i’ve made it this far w/o you [being the lady] so.....i’ve always been small it’s a fact of life it’s just not one i like. weirdly enough i don’t like supernice people.

from may 16th: ‘ huh so that was weird. on sat. we do room checks. and so the lady i were talking about before dinner and she’s like ‘you ready?’ which well i was but i wanted to do it after dinner and so i told her that and so she told me it’d be around 8, or something. oh ok. so 8 rolls around and nothing. and then 9 and.nothing. and i don’t like verbalising things which is why i didn’t say anything and i don’t have texting and. well anyway it was weird. not like i have any incriminating evidence..........in certain places. [well i certainly don’t now and haven’t for awhile]. yeah no it was just weird. [yes i’m aware i’ve stated that].

from may 14th: ‘ being polite is like housework: no one notices it untill it’s not done. yeah so yesterday when i was out i moved out of the way of people. and no one said anything. um ‘you’re welcome!’. fine next time i won’t be so polite and you’ll bump into me. ‘hey how come you didn’t move?’ um cause you didn’t move out of the way when i did.’. that’ll get your attention. and in other news sex! [see what i did there?]. [no actually i’m still going to move].

from april 17th: ‘ omygod whole foods was so crazy wed. it’s like people don’t understand how things work. ok that’s why you get like 2 - 4 boxes of like pasta or rice or w/e it is you like on a regular basis. so that you don’t have to stock up when it’s bad weather like this. and then the rest of the world has to wait and then no one wants to go to the store. it’s common courtesy. [like i should talk being that i don’t usually talk to greeters in stores. like go away]. like i know it’s cold but this isn’t fukin vermont. [sry but we have mountains of snow there. no i’m not kidding. also i’m not a fan of vermont. i lived there for 2 yrs. and never again went to boarding school there so]. and i know we have snow [er obviously. yes you’re welcome] but wow. i’ve never seen it be that crazy.

‘ yeah so ya know how i’m an idiot? [oh good these are always fun]. well so on wed. i was telling my mom that last yr. we’d gone on our vacation [not ‘trip’ cause that makes me think of LSD. oh yeah i’m going on a trip soon absolutely. kidding i’ve never done LSD. anyway] the 19th to the 23rd and she’s like ‘no that’s when we’re going this year i think you have your years wrong’. wow. well that was embarassing. well if ya can’t laugh at yourself at least let me do it. er depending..........of course. [no really it’s ok i think it’s funny too].
yeah so ya know how i’m an idiot? [oh good these are always fun]. well so on wed. i was telling my mom that last yr. we’d gone on our vacation [not ‘trip’ cause that makes me think of LSD. oh yeah i’m going on a trip soon absolutely. kidding i’ve never done LSD. anyway] the 19th to the 23rd and she’s like ‘no that’s when we’re going this year i think you have your years wrong’. wow. well that was embarassing. well if ya can’t laugh at yourself at least let me do it. er depending..........of course. [no really it’s ok i think it’s funny too].

from april 15th: ‘ so this russian bitch. i mean lady. i have nothing against russians in general i just didn’t like this particular one. ok so i was in the ladies’ room of whole foods earlier today. and she was standing right in the damn way fixing her hair. and so i went into one of the stalls which was out of order. so i came out right at the same time the russian snapped like actually snapped at me: “excuse me i’m still in line” or w/e.yes i know that. but snapping at me won’t help. and so then i left cause then i really didn’t want to be around her. she was also intimidating as she was tall. like it was my fault but i was only thinking about me when that happened. yeah on thurs. i was in the ladies’ room of my psych. building and had my stuff in 1 stall and this lady went into it and i’m like ‘hey!’. and then she went into another one and she’s ‘sorry’. ‘thank you. it’s ok’. i wasn’t upset i was just like what the hell?

‘ Anne Young although when people are that taken aback it can sound like they’re upset and put out. to me anyway. but i’m also a really sensitive person and always have been. and pay more attention to the way something is said than what’s actually being said. like well i’m sorry that i’ve upset you but calm down.

‘ so apparently i’m weird. so last wk. well there’s an intersection in cherry creek i don’t like xing cause there are all these cars waiting for people and i don’t like it when cars wait.it makes me feel like they’re looking at me. [well i mean they are. i mean don’t run me over or anything but just fukin go]. so on one side of the st. there’s a parking garage where.well you know.cars come out. like they drive up the thingy type thing. and like i said the waiting thing.so last wk. when i was there i keep going back between the parking garage and like to the middle of the sidewalk/thing. so this lady in a scarf goes ‘can i help you?’ and i’m ‘no thank you’. look if you don’t want me doing that then just say so. don’t sound like we’re in a store cause.that just seems weird to me.and i’m going to literally take that as someone asking me if i want help.um i’m 28 so............not new to the world or how things work.i just have my own way of doing things.

from april 14th: ‘ so we got one of those motion sensor lights. for the upstairs. and i don’t like it. first off it’s too damn bright b it’s almost at eye level. yeah you’re walkin out of your room and there’s this giant bright light.right the fuk there. when everywhere else is dark as anything. this is exactly why i don’t like natural light.like outside it’s ok and skylights/higher up windows are ok. and also. 3 i feel like i’m on display every time the light comes on.and i don’t like that.

from april 12th: ‘ sometimes.the pasta that’s in the container.well the container flips over and there’s nothing you can do.[well ok that’s not entirely true.i just like how it sounds]. yeah happened to me last wk. at CA pizza kitchen. see that’s why i don’t like it when things are on the edge. of glory on a something we call love, or w/e it is. no um. like if a cup or something is on the edge of the table.cause i feel like it’s going to fall. this is also why i don’t like those automatic can openers. growing up i always used the handheld ones. and it was’t untill the last like.2 yrs. or so maybe that i knew of the other kind.i think.also i have a thing about things being by my elbows. er which relates.some........how.......

‘ Anne Young [btw i rescued the pasta and it was ok].

from april 11th: ‘ well that was.interesting. so my mentor calls at 2:50 and tells me she’s cancelling. so about 20 mins. after that i go tell the lady that valerie [again, my.mentor] cancelled and i’m thinking of going to the home depot area. and tells i could walk there or she could draw me a map idk how she wants to work this........ [which is nice cause then i’m not like ‘ok lady here’s what’s gonna happen’]. and she’s like ‘oh ok well i’m going to go pick up jennifer and i’ll drop you off on the way’. [‘jennifer’ being one of the other people who lives here]. ok. so i went. i realise she won’t always be able to do this so i shouldn’t come to expect it. oh right so at albertson’s i bought band aids and the lady’s like ‘so you’re giving me .11?’ yeah i.didn’t realise that was a problem sorry. pretty sure i gave you more than that so what you talkin ‘bout lady? no wait she meant 1.11 and they were.less. but sorry for being a nice and quiet customer..........

from march 29th: ‘ so the other day the lady thinks she hears my phone alarm.well i was pretty sure that all my alarms were off.so that’s weird. i know i have bad hearing but damn. [no really. the other day i only heard part of a sentence]. [or maybe it wasn’t my phone alarm/s].

from march 26th: ‘ ya know when you’re just starting to sleep and your body jerks awake? yeah that’s happened to me a few times recently.it’s really annoying. i think maybe it’s trying to keep me from falling but like when i was sitting at the floor at my mom’s starting to sleep it happened........oh no wait still makes sense.ok then nvrm.

from march 22nd: ‘ so my first day in paris. this was like..........8 yrs. ago. my phone wouldn’t work which is part of the reason we got it so it would work overseas.but apparently now it does as i discovered in london. yeah i don’t have texting and yet the phone people text me so......that’s both weird and interesting.but anyway. yes so paris first day phone wouldn’t work and i merged my um spanish and french asking people if they spoke english.oh also nothing’s free in paris i learned that my first day too when i went to one of those beverage fridges and..........yeah no they’re not free. the people aren’t super nice but they’re not like.actively um against people from the states either.so, don’t go there for the people. at least i think the whole phone thing happened. and no i didn’t see any shows at the moulin rouge. expensive and also i was w/ my mom so #awkward. nor did we go to the louvre.

from march 19th: ‘ i somewhat remember when i butchered ‘somebody to love’ [queen] at karaoke. oh i also “murdered” ‘i try’ [macy gray]. songs..........i am so sorry. but i’ll sing anything. i’ll sing sinatra bon jovi patsy cline. or whoever. i might not do well but apparently i have fun. i remember my friend Lu....... ‘she’s like i want to be like Anne i want to sing anything’. those were some good times. i think the reason i butchered that queen song was bc it’s such an incredible song and i was all nervous. um no but i mention this bc i went to a queen show w/ my mom earlier today. it was the GMC [gay men’s chorus] they performed. and talked a bit about Mercury.

from march 15th: ‘ nothing too terribly exciting happened today. so today i bought gum for no apparent reason. [no um i wanted to see if i’d be able to purchase it w/.........another form of payment. and so yeah. also gum is good for traveling er plan rides......flights* there we go. not that i like it but anyway]. um.........oh and i forgot my starbucks card. i had it all loaded up and everything. i was looking through my purse ......to no avail. and i’m ‘it’s probably at my house.....’ which didn’t help me at the time. good job. well saves me money. oh yes i have food now. yay.

from march 13th: ‘ Pat [my late best friend for those who don’t know] was. .....wow i miss him today. there was a recent news story where a lady that’d been a nurse for 44 yrs. was now the patient. and her nurse was a patient she’d taken care of......and something about a disease. well and that reminded me of Pat. not just the genuine human love and compassion but also.i owe him my life. he saved me that night. and i’ll never be able to tell him that. but maybe he knows. apparently according to the things i put on his fb he knew how i felt about him. i was listening to ‘seasons of love’ from rent earlier [for another reason nothing to do w/ him] and it hit me. if there was one thing he really knew how to do it was love. oh.wow.

from march 3rd: ‘ so i got a flower today.from a local resident. er well idk how ‘local’ she is i’ve seen her at the mall. she’s like ‘would you like a flower?’ yes there you go just for you. and a hug’. and she gives real hugs. i love hugs. [the flower was a yellow tulip. i love yellow and they have tulips in amsterdam. well they have them here too obviously but that’s one of the things they’re known for. they have a whole park/garden thing dedicated to them]. it’s so weird that the flower thing is weird to me when i’m the one who’s all about passing them out and love. sometimes.....i want to give someone a random flower but i feel like that’s weird. ok i must be doin somethin right/somebody up there likes me cause all these good things keep happening/i keep getting signs. yeah so wow.

Last updated July 16, 2018