Habits in Current Events

Old habits die hard and boy do I have a big one to kill. Zach wanted me to take a picture of him on my phone. “Now you have something to masturbate to” he said after. It was funny. Last night I drew a heart on it and snapped it to him saying “Happy Valentines day my boo boo titty fuck”. I thought it was funny but he said it was creepy and asked me to delete it from my phone. I complied but to my surprise I was hurt. I been triggered all day. Been holding in my obsessive boy disorder that I used to get real bad. My Roarke and Tyler stories have ended.
I don’t smoke pot but I would sure like to get out of myself right now. I am trying not to drink but I just caved. One glass of wine to help me write this entry. The old me wants to be mad at him. I deactivated all social media so I don’t embarrass myself. I blocked him on Snapchat because that is as petty as I am going to let myself get. So I sent a Valentine days card and the guy called me creepy? He isn’t the sorry type and I’m not the forgiving type so when I’m back to work and I see him it will be like nothing happened. Maybe? I don’t want to be his friend right now. I just want to stay professional and move on. This ain’t no thing. He is just a fuckboy.

Last updated February 14, 2017