Also One to Ignore in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

Oh boy, here I go bitching again.

But wait. I tried, am trying, really hard not to bitch. Not to sit in… well, I have to sit in the shit; but I’m trying to keep my mind occupied otherwise. It is hard though. Here is an example of an attempt.

“Artists need to feel that their artwork is protected; insofar as if an artist displays a piece, that piece can’t be stolen and sold by someone else. In the digital world, this suggests that if you see something posted by an artist, you can’t just copy/past that shit without giving credit to its creator or at the very least you certainly can’t make money off of the item that you, for lack of a better word, stole. But then we get into an important debate about sharing versus creating. For example; if I appreciate something from a television show and share it on the internet, is that stealing? More; if I alter the item to highlight how it is funny (for instance, add a slow motion portion or do a Madden-style breakdown) does that then transform the clip into my art or is it still someone else’s art?”

Those are the things I push through my mind when I start feeling like bitching. Because I’d rather think about art and beauty and friends and fun.

It… is a bit of a pickle, if I’m going to be honest and open.

On the one hand; I keep reminding myself that this place isn’t normal. That, honestly, up until 4 years ago… the County Attorney and Assistant position had been held by “insiders” for decades. It was like anything else in a small town in that it was a family business. County Attorney would be handed from father to son then to sister then to friend who would hand it down to their son then sister etcetera. But Boss had no family to give the Assistant Job to when it became open; so someone was brought in. And that someone that was brought in is the person that told me “I hated being a lawyer when I was here; but I got out and now I love being a lawyer!” The person after her? Is the guy that everyone hates because he didn’t care about the job (to the point of dismissing everything). Then there’s me. So… 4 years; three people. All saying (pretty much) this place sucks and is a giant pisshole for people in our profession. It is an important thing to remember because I do need to keep repeating the mantra “It’s not me, it’s this place.”

At the same time, though, it is hard not to think “Dude… you kind of suck.” Especially when compared to the fact that I haven’t been getting any positive feedback on my Job Search. And part of that “Dude… you kind of suck” also comes from knowing what the job search problem is. Yeah, I have a modicum of experience now. But it is supremely minuscule in that it is criminal only and not much of that. So instead of being able to say “I’ll come in and make this firm 3 times its annual expected earnings!” The best I can do is say, “I’ll come in and learn fast, work hard, and do what I can!” But it is that great job search catch 22. I need to learn how to do the various different styles of law; and in order to do that I need to work where they do the various different styles of law; and in order to do that I need to know how to do the various different styles of law. Repeat as needed.

That’s where I am right now, I guess. I’m looking at cases from the past (as we are doing some clean up) and I’m noticing that the happiest person I’ve met since moving here is the one that GTFO’d over two years ago. And while I certainly wish to do the same… time and opportunity, it seems, move for no man.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat (sarcasm). While I’m going through this; I get a phone call from an officer from out of the county who I’ve never heard from before that is screaming at me because apparently I am a terrible attorney who sucks and doesn’t know how to do my job. Thanks, Officer Asshole! I think flipping out on me over a seat belt ticket may be a little inappropriate. Because… well… as much as I believe in the Seat Belt Laws… literally if someone isn’t wearing their seat belt, the only person at risk is that person. So if a police officer calls me and tells me that he is vouching for the fact that the defendant WAS wearing a seat belt… yeah, I’m going to dismiss that shit. Fuck.

So… yeah. That’s my life. Working a job I don’t like. Living in a place that I don’t like. Taking abuse from Defendants who want me to ignore Drunk Driving, etc. Getting no support from a community that wants to ignore Drunk Driving, etc. Getting flak from Officers that want to overcharge (like charging someone with Assault with a Deadly Weapon… for holding a knife to their own throat). Yeah. No wonder I’m miserable here.

As much as I’m going to be severely bothered if I don’t have a job lined up… moving out of here can’t come fast enough.
As much as I would love to get that $320,000 house that I’ll never be able to afford… a cramped two bedroom apartment will do, as long as I’m free of this shit.

Seriously… can’t come soon enough.
127 days.