my sister's a jerk. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

so like i mentioned in my last entry.my sister’s a jerk. and i rarely say bad things about people particularly ladies. she thinks it’s fun to antagonise my mom er our mom and.it’s not. my mom’s an adult lady er woman she can take care of herself. but my sister should be nice to my mom. my god it’s like she doesn’t even care. Kate i mean.my sister. and i don’t think she does. and she should care considering the woman gave birth to her. yeah but our biological family isn’t always.what we consider family. i have 2 friends who i think of as though they’re my brother and Muriel Pat’s mom is like my other mom in a way. there are all kinds of families.

But my sister apparently resents my mom. a lot. sure i resent my dad but i’m not like.a jerk to him. I’ve only once in recent memory gotten verbally upset w/ him. and that was a feminist type thing. [and again going back to the difference between me my sister]. she’s my mom ya know? [well actually you don’t know since you’ve never met her far as i’m aware]. no but just. she’s funny and she’s like.we have a good relationship and we get on well usually. but see the thing is.i don’t think my sister does care. which is sad. like yeah it’s her life but it’s still sad. i won’t repeat what she’s said to my mom er our mom.

but a part of me wants to put my sister in her place. i know she loves Brewster her dog. and i want to say to her ‘how would you feel if someone said the same things about Brewster you’ve said to Mom?’ i won’t though cause i don’t change. also i have to be nice to everyone. or tell her ‘wow i don’t know that i want to keep having lunch w/ you if this is how you’re going to be’. cause we have lunch together every wk. and we have for at least a yr. but if that doesn’t have an impact on her............well a then it’ll have an impact on me cause it’s like wow i guess you were going to change so we could have lunch together but now you’re not so i guess we won’t. like i would think that would matter to her. but if she’s not going to change then that’s like she’s saying it doesn’t so. and i don’t know that that would help me move forward. and also i actually like, having lunch w/ her. it’s not like w/ valerie where she’s someone i’m not looking forward to seeing. and if we don’t have lunch together.........then that’s me taking something away from me. and that’s not fair to me of me.to do that. [yes but it’s not fair of her to say those things about Mom ‘her’ being my sister in this case]. and no one and i mean literally no one wants to be around people who aren’t nice. so. [i know i don’t have much room to talk here. no i really..............don’t. i’m better but ya know. i’m not great].

sure maybe if i said that to my sister ‘how would you feel if someone said to Brewster what you’ve been saying to Mom?’ it would have an impact on her esp. bc i don’t say those things.to her like ever. but ya know it also might not. they’ve travelled a lot. and on one of their travels my mom got my sister this pearl ring. but when my mom gave it to her she told her something like ‘now i want this to be a reminder to treat people right’ or w/e. so it’s not just oh i get this beautiful ring. no one’s done that for me. no i mean given me something like that as a symbol. and if they did i don’t know that it would have an impact on me. also i’m not a souviner person. i’m a photo and memories person. if someone wanted to buy me something on our travels i won’t say no. like i’m not stopping them or anything. but i’m not expecting it either. so the ring serves a function. oh..............so like my sister it’s not just their to look pretty. which connects w/ my last entry. i don’t know if my mom got that or not. and if my sister wants to tell people that about the ring it’s ok but it doesn’t seem like something she’d do. [which is funny since she’s apparently well no not ‘apparently’ um since she’s so vocal about everything else]. although really. i think it would be good for her to tell people that. like ‘well i haven’t always treated peole right and this ring is a reminder to do so’. [not like people actually always need a reminder or something to do that. no but sometimes they do]. [god i sound like her godamn psychologist. no i’m just saying].

ya kow. but really and i really don’t like this. the only thing i can actually do about this.is keep being who i am.