so yesterday. huh so that was weird. in 2017. got it.

so valerie didn’t come yesterday. which actually isn’t all that unusual except that. The last time she got at me was the 16th and i don’t open my emails. like i know i have them and i see them but........... yeah. again if it’s that important the person can pick up the phone and call me. anyway so the unusual part is she didn’t get at me telling me she wouldn’t be there. or maybe in her email from the 16th she did but again I, don’t open my emails. she also didn’t call me far as i know and i, didn’t call her. i didn’t have any other going out plans so. i wasn’t like severely bothered by it or anythig. it was just kindof weird. and she hasn’t made plans to reschedule although neither have i. but I don’t really want to right now I will Wed. night. really for me the only reason to meet w/ her were/are money, convention and appearances. Meeting w/ her isn’t actually doing anything for me. and by ‘convention’ i mean if I need/want to go to the store on a day that isn’t a going out day for me. i don’t really like need a mentor that often. and appearances being to keep up appearances so the lady won’t say anything. my anxiety won’t let me believe otherwise. in fact when i don’t see valerie i’m relieved. it’s like oh thank god. thank god i don’t have to be around someone who’s way too nice. no this is like a fukin vacation for me or at least it was yesterday. seeing her isn’t something i look forward to as i’ve mentioned. i haven’t seen her in 3 wks. like ok...........i’m not bothered.or worried or anything. it was a little weird but that’s all.

Last updated September 19, 2017