Walls. in A new beginnging.

I told him.
I couldn’t take the hundred opportunities I had, even the ones earlier in the day. Nope, I had to call him when I got home. “Hey..so I have to tell you something, are you sitting down?” the jist of it was..there had always been something between us, you’re my best friend- no matter what I always want you in my life and you mean the world to me. blah blah blah.
So let’s see where this takes us.
To rewind a bit..
Tuesday I finally made a big adult step and got my very own new car- a big first in my life. So we are out celebrating and I am showing him something on my phone when I get a gmail notification. “Josh Carroll”
We both look at each other - “WHAT THE FUCK!?” so I open it and let him read it next to me. The subject was “0” and this is exactly what it said:

“True sadness by Avert Bros is awesome. Not inappropriate.”

I am assuming that was supposed to be Avett, not Avert.
Yep, that’s all. This was coming about 2 years after his last random Doomtree related email. No, I didn’t respond to either of them. Obviously. It is still rather annoying to me that he does this. It mostly frustrating because this must mean he is in a big fight with his GF, or there is something stressful/ hard going on so he has to do this. I can say that with confidence because he did the same thing when he was with me. I feel bad for her.

But now I am faced head on with this new (ish) chapter. The feelings are just real. No doubts, no talking myself out of it, no fighting it. There are moments where I want to kick myself or waiting this long- but I was always at the wrong spots in my life. Kind of like jobs, right?

Anyways.