290(1) in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

0730
So badly want to sleep more. A significant portion of me wants to call in sick to work just so I can get another 4 to 6 hours of sleep. :(
Of course… that could be the Fibromyalgia… the lack of sun exposure… the depression about the location… or the dream involving the Red Head in a Purple Blouse, Pencil Skirt and Nylons. No matter… tons more sleep sounds damned good right now.

0841
In fairness, I must announce that the sun has appeared. As this is such a bizarre and rare occasion, it must be recognized. That being said… sun is good to see; weather is still below freezing. But… hey… (for at least an hour or two) the sky isn’t simply a gray depressing tapestry of misery!

1207
Morning went… court, home for a snack and fighting the urge to nap, court, back to the office. At the office… I imagine things will be… what they are, I guess. In short… update calendar, conversation with a Sheriff’s Deputy, Update Case Management Program, fulfill Ran’s White Board Obligation Updates, send an e-mail or two… and that is it for my work day. Granted… I don’t want to be insanely busy and I don’t want 745 things that I don’t know how to do but… the current situation, as is usual in this county, is simply untenable. My instincts say it is because that down time in this location is unlike down time in other locations. Down time at another office may increase creativity and the exchange of ideas with co-workers. Whereas, down time here simply increases the amount of time I have to spend on Prosebox and Facebook. Oh well, I suppose. The hum drum of this existence should be familiar enough to me now that I should sidle up to the bar, knock a shot of “Reality” back, and just swim in it. After all, after the hum drum comes a complicated bit of “out of the ordinary” as Wife and I are going to stop in at Cecilia’s husband’s wake.

1226
I stated this on Facebook but… this is something I am realizing and it makes me simultaneously angry and depressed. I am not a dumb person (apparently). And the things that others have heard me say, only to respond with “DUH!” should not have been so quickly dismissed by me. For example, why do people hate hypocrites? Because they do what they instruct others not to do? I have long held (as many others likely have) that we don’t just dislike hypocrites; we despise hypocrites because we see their statements of Value Judgment as Value Separation. “You shouldn’t waste electricity” isn’t simply sound advice… it triggers the “othering” that is such a huge part of daily life. “You shouldn’t waste electricity” contains within it a silent assumption. We hear “I don’t waste electricity” in that statement. I’ve said this all before but hadn’t the urge or idea to publish. Someone did. For the NY Times.

It reminds me of something I was discussing with Wife yesterday. We were listening to someone postulate that the Past exists in permanence with the Present. It was a philosophical temporal discussion. The kind I’ve been having for decades. And… it set something off in me. Because I have a vivid memory from when I was 12 years old… getting laughed at for my crazy ideas… and how ridiculed I felt to never discuss it again. Here’s what it was (12 years old):
Time exists in moments, like memories. People don’t remember an event with 100% accuracy starting from when they woke up to when they went to sleep the day they are trying to remember. They remember a bubble in time. What if that is how temporal reality works? What if the past is always present in “The Time Stream” but only as bubbles preserving moments. And the closer we are to the present, the closer together those bubbles are (so we can pull those memories easier) but the farther back in time, the farther apart those bubbles are. Then the key to moving between those bubbles is memory… we can send our mind into the past as observers… but we can’t affect those moments without re-engaging them as The Present. Then the key to time travel would be to develop something that would allow a complete shift (either mental or physical) into that momentary bubble. However, this theory of time travel would also permanently prohibit travel to the future as, once the Bubble becomes your Present; there are no Future bubbles that have already happened. One can only travel backwards.
That is the theory I developed when I was 12. And I was seriously, heavily ridiculed for having such a foolish, stupid, asinine idea. 8 years from my idea… a movie called The Butterfly Effect was released. Then 15 years from my idea… Stein’s Gate. I love Steins; Gate btw but… temporal concepts of moving back in time for one’s own past. Then 16 years from my idea… a television show discusses The Past as always existing in The Present… and 6 years after that episode is recorded, my Wife and I watch it and I’m equal parts angry and sad.

I don’t want to be that guy that tries to get every crackpot idea he has published. I wouldn’t even know HOW to be that guy. But if I’m having ideas and wanting to have discussions that… apparently… are worth being published, or made into movies and television… I want to be the guy getting paid and having those discussions! Damn.