If everyone cared in My Unpredictable Life ...

If everyone cared and nobody cried

Saw a post on Facebook earlier. I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm pretty sure it was directed at me. I'm pretty sure it wasn't but am just being overly sensitive and making it about me.

Pretty sad when your anchor, your rock, your one "go-to" person won't answer their phone. Guess I will just have to call someone else.

So, on the chance this was directed towards me, let me just get this off my chest:

Want some cheese to go with that whine? Guess what? The world doesn't revolve around you and your problems. You aren't the only one that needs a shoulder to cry on.

Chances are you are just wanting to bitch about your BabyDaddy ... or your crazy ass mother ... or how your misbehaving children won't listen to you.

Chances are it is the same damn song, the same damn dance, just on a different day. Some of us get tired of hearing the same "problems" over and over and over again. Quit calling, asking me what to do, and ignoring my suggestions. If you have no intentions of actually following my advice then stop asking for it.

Some of us aren't fortunate (or just lazy enough) to have child support, food stamps, WIC, government funded housing, and Medicaid to take care of us. Some of us actually get off our lazy fat asses and work for a living. Some of us actually have "Real World Problems." Don't like your life? Fuckin' change it! Piss or get off the pot!!

Better yet, when you are pushing the button on your phone to call me, how about starting the conversation off with, "Hey Sassy. How are YOU? Need a shoulder to cry on? Need help solving 3rd World problems? What can I do to make YOU feel better?" instead of, "UGH! You aren't going to fuckin' believe what I just went through!"

Okay, maybe if I actually answered my phone, you might just be calling to do that. But history tells me that chances are, you aren't. So if you really are that concerned about me, you really want to help me, send a text first telling me why you are calling. Maybe then I might just answer your call.

Yes, I love being there for my friends. I love being able to help them, even if it is only a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent into. It makes me feel good when I can make a difference for them.

But fuck, don't you realize that maybe I would like the same thing? Why is it so hard for people to understand that I have "bad days" also. Why is it so hard for people to understand that I'm not always strong enough to shoulder all their problems and mine also? Why is it so hard for people to understand that I am human? That I can hurt just as much as they do? Why do people get all "uncomfortable" and shie away from me when I am off my "A" game? I'm not some freak of nature when I am down in the dumps.

Why does everything always have to be a one way street?

And yes, maybe I don't like talking about myself. Maybe I hate sounding like a crybaby every time my feelings get hurt (kinda like how you sound when complaining to me) so I tend to brush off a minor inquiry into how I am doing. But, I also know you aren't being sincere so ... There are people in this world who have a reason to need someone to talk to. A parent's passing ... a child with cancer ... a lost job ... I could go on and on. THOSE are problems. My bitching about my feelings being hurt because the people at work "don't want to be my friend/want to give my hours to everyone else but me" - that is not worthy of needing a shoulder to cry on. I know that. Maybe I just want to feel like I am important to you, no matter how trivial my "supposed issues" are.

Maybe I just need to get a goodnight's sleep to better be able to see things in a more positive perspective.

Thank you all for your recent kind notes. I'm trying to respond to them and to read your latest entries. It may take a day or two to get caught up on them all but I will get back to you all. I promise.

Till next time ...