183 (bida) in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

I had a dream....
I was single and living in an apartment in Des Moines. Not a big one; but two bedrooms, a common area, and a kitchen. My room mate was Thompson (an ex gf) and she had taken the entire Common Area for her office because she and her boyfriend couldn’t quite fit everything into the bedroom. So… me, living with an ex and her current paramour. I had to go to work at an office in Downtown Des Moines and couldn’t find my car; so I was walking down the interstate trying to get to work.
Then I woke up.
And the dream was preferable, I realized. I would rather be in that situation than be where I was.
Weeks of sub-freezing temperatures; months without sunshine; 8.5 months living in a tiny impoverished county. It took me an entire hour to work up the spiritual fortitude to get out of bed today. And once I got into the office… I quickly took note that I was alone there. Ran hasn’t been in the office all week and hasn’t responded to e-mails trying to get things sorted. Jude was in on Monday and hasn’t been in since. Cecilia’s husband is dying, so she won’t be coming in. And since today is a “Due Date” for people with outstanding fines; my phone has been ringing off the hook from people with excuses. “I don’t have a job”, “I don’t know how to send money”, “I overspent my budget”… and those are some of the less ridiculous bullshit excuses.
I just want to get back in bed. I want to get in bed and sleep until I physically can’t sleep anymore. Because of this feeling, I can sense the doubts creeping back in “Maybe I shouldn’t be a lawyer”. But luckily I reflect back on what my predecessor said. “I thought I wasn’t cut out to be a lawyer until I got out of here. Now I love my life and my job more than I thought possible. Work hard, but get out when you can.” Well… the race is on. Seeing if I can get out of here while there is still enough of me left to continue… or if this place devours me before we can leave.

Ran is in the office now. Along with a plethora of desks, desk chairs, folders… the material needed to create an office. He’s thrilled… like a child opening Christmas presents. But my… I suppose “irritation”… is rising. It is wonderful fun to set up an office and make someplace feel like your Work Home. But the longer he is playing “Decorator” the longer we are without a County Attorney. I spoke with him about my three biggest pet peeves and he’d been thinking about them as well. (1) Lack of uniformity from the office: When Boss was working, all forms were “File As Thou Wilt” meaning the office could file seven Judgment Orders and all 7 would look different. (2) Lack of Reports from Officers: The legal system is not a mystery to those who work in it. Criminal Charge leads to Initial Appearance leads to Preliminary Hearing leads to Pre-Trial Conference. We, as attorneys, should not have to spend a day (or more) tracking down officers who file a Criminal Charge and never file paperwork. It is a shitty practice the officers around here have gotten into and it needs to change. (3) Lack of Discovery from Officers: Everything I said about Reports… goes for Discovery… times ten. After an arrest is made… almost 100% of the time around here, the investigation is over. Making me hunt you down to collect discovery that could have/should have been delivered during the arrest is insane. Especially when… if I can have a plea deal and discovery before Pretrial Conference (which is the way every county is supposed to do it) it would make the entire process far more appropriate.
So… Ran and I see eye to eye on that… it is just… how will he attempt to affect change? Will he? And when?

Productivity Log:
12 Phone calls in the first hour
5 Collections Matters in Court
1 In Court Plea Deal
1 Motion/Order (likely to piss off Police) dismissing a case against a deeply troubled Schizophrenic
Safety Training Required Module
(A “pleasant phone call” sarcastic… a wife that is shouting at me and threatening to sue me personally because her husband is dying but we’ve detained him on a criminal matter and forty minutes of me informing her that it hasn’t come to our office yet. Until the Police actually do their job, we can’t intervene. Her husband hasn’t even seen a judge yet… until he sees a judge in this county, we’re not involved. But… yeah… a forty minute phone call being shouted at and sobbed at and sworn at… despite me telling her we aren’t even involved in this case yet. For fuck sake. I get that she is worried about her husband, I get that she needs to go off on somebody… but this county is full of Sick, Dying, Impoverished people and the County Attorney’s Office is not responsible for taking care of all of them. The County Attorney’s Office deals with Criminal Matters, Juvenile Matters, and Mental Health Commitments. WE ARE NOT A COMMUNITY HELP LINE!)

After that call, I went to talk to Ran about cases. And now have 7 new cases. And no reports (yet). It is okay. I can certainly deal with life… hell, something to do is a GOOD thing around here. Just… feeling that sense of overwhelmed again. Going from “My God, this sucks” to “Holy Shit, what do I do?” Exhausting swing. I just need to sack up and start flat out demanding shit from Officers. That deference to Police drilled into me needs to be shaken out. Maybe that is one reason I’ve been “sentenced” to this Community. Come face to face with how Police really can be awful; so I know what/how to combat that in the future.

I suppose on that note; I am going to sign off from here. No time to read, no time to write

I’m late / I’m late / For a very important date. / No time to say “Hello, Goodbye”. / I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.