Dental exam. in Since OD is shutting down....

I had to be at the dentist at 8 this morning. It was brutal getting up and starting the car to get there. I am so beyond sick of it being sub zero fucking temps that I could fucking scream. They moved my cleaning to tomorrow at 3 so I had to call my work and let them know I’m going to be running late. He was super cool about it so that was nice.

I’m feeling better about things at work. I just can’t allow people I don’t care about to have such an impact on my personal feelings. It’s also not okay to let them run me out of my job. I’m not ready to leave yet so they need to accept that they are stuck with me until I decide I’m ready to find a different fucking job. I plan to wear complete uniform, not talk unless I have to, and be really aware of my work performance. Eventually, they’ll get bored with trying to create problems and pick a new flavor of the week.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do about things with Eric or his family. From talking to Child Support Enforcement and people that have already been through this shit, he is nothing more than a fucking sperm donor so I am not in any obligated to allow him to see his child or even be in contact with him until he takes me to court which will never happen because he’s never going to be able to afford to. It’s not my intention to keep anyone from my child but I feel that until my kid comes, I need to protect myself from toxic people that just want to drag me down.

I’m in my 11th week and I’m feeling pretty good about having a baby. I still have moments where I’m scared and wonder how things will work out with daycare and everything but I kep in mind that I’m not the only person who’s ever been a single parent and I’ll find ways to make everything happen. It’s not going to be easy but I’m already doing everything I can to be prepared as possible. I’m pretty sure I have Eric’s family on board with babysitting while I work and if that doesn’t work out, I have a daycare set up and even a back up babysitter.

Anyways, I’ll try and write more later but I’m going to nap.