People fucking suck. in Since OD is shutting down....

It’s been an absolute train wreck of a week and I’m so fucking glad I was off today, I’m off tomorrow and don’t have to return to my shit hole of a fucking job until Tuesday afternoon at 4pm. I have never felt more hated and out of place at my job and after the text I got from my boss this afternoon, I’ve actually considered not going back. But because I’m all by my motherfucking self with a baby on the way, I really have no fucking choice!!

I was at work all day yesterday. One of my co-workers told me that the GM is looking to start the slow process of getting rid of me by writing me up for anything I do because I’m the ‘problem child’ and this crap completely ruins my entire fucking day like my day wasn’t bad enough. I get super upset and text my boss and she doesn’t answer. Well I wait until this fuckhead shows up and talk to him. He said that he’s not trying to get rid of me but he’s going to start paying more attention to everyone and doing what he can to take the trash out. He said he doesn’t believe that little girl would have said something about me terminating my pregnancy, he just doesn’t see her saying that due to it not being her ‘nature’. I asked about the issue of me wearing sweat pants and supposedly 3 different people called him on his day off to tell him.

There’s no way in hell I believe that because the bitch that doesn’t like me the other day was there and saw me wearing them so I know it was her. I’ve worn them before and NOT A MOTHERFUCKING WORD was said because she wasn’t there!!! He also brought up how I’ve been transferred out before due to wearing flip flops and who else would have told him about that?! The bitch that doesn’t like me!!! It’s just so crazy that no one can EVER let anything go and my past mistakes are going to haunt me until I find another fucking job!!!

I have been putting in applications online this morning and all my friends say that finding a job while pregnant is about as tough as it can get. The good news is I’m not showing yet. I don’t plan to leave my job but I would like to at least getting my name out there in case something happens. I obviously have plenty of people at my job looking to push me out the door so I don’t think it would be a bad idea to have something in the works. My friend that told me about this said to watch myself around the GM and to be looking for something else. It’s just really fucked up that even though I’m pregnant, there’s still so much drama and people holding grudges.

All I know is I’ve never felt more trapped in my life and I’ve spent the whole week wondering about my future. Things have been so terrible at work that I walk in every day wondering if it’s going to be my last. That’s not a fun way to live life especially with a baby on the way with no support whatsoever.

The GM said that I like to gossip and with strikes against me, I need to stop drawing attention to myself. My boss text me this afternoon and was a complete fucking bitch. She said that he’s the GM and I have to listen to him, that I know I can’t expect him to look the other way when I’m not in uniform and she can make it possible for me to transfer but those stores aren’t as busy so I wouldn’t make as much money. I’d basically fuck myself if I move to work for them at those locations!!

I’ve decided that I’m going to make sure I’m always wearing my uniform, including my hat. I’m not going to speak unless it’s work related and I’m going to just come in to make my money and go home. I’m done with the drama and more importantly, I’m done being made to feel like this. I’m sick of being made to feel like the rug is just going to be pulled out from underneath me at any moment.

I don’t plan to return after maternity leave. I plan to find something else when I return to work because I can’t keep doing this shit. I’m tired of working with little girls that always have to be mean, thrive off drama, and can’t just let the fucking dust settle. I’m never going to be able to move up again due to past mistakes that some bitch keeps bringing up and I’m going to have a child that I want to make a decent living for, especially because I’m going to be a single Mom.

I honestly need to take a few days off to get a break from that place. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to flip the fuck out and lose my job because I can’t stand the tension and knowing how much people don’t like me. I’ve worked harder at this job than anywhere else I’ve ever worked and yet, none of it matters at the end of the day.

So I call my Mom earlier just to have someone to talk to and my Dad was sitting next to her and wouldn’t shut up so I just hung up. She didn’t even bother to call me back. Again, I need to stop beating my head against a wall and realize that they DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME!!! THEY NEVER FUCKING HAVE!!! No one does! I sit here alone in my house until I go to work and then come back home to being by myself some more!! NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT ME!

Anyways, I have to be up super fucking early to go get my dental exam done. My cleaning is 3 weeks away because it would just be too fucking early to do it all at once!! Good night!