Oh, My. in Friends With the Benedicts

Just got done puking. I am sooo hungover. What a looovely entry I blessed yall with on New Year’s Eve. LOLOL. I didn’t have a traditional hangover, I just think personally with all the problems I have, my body does not want me to drink. I went and ran some errands with my bro today and felt kinda normal, but my tummy has just been getting worse the whole day. It is technically the next day, but I went and laid down at like 2am last night, the 1st, and got back up at 5:30am. I cannot sleep right now. All of the rx pain killers are out of my system with my mom being gone, and boy am I reeeally starting to feel it! I hurt from my head to my toes. I guess I should appreciate them more when I have em huh? For those that do not know, I am an addict. A functioning one, and I do have it under control, but I am an addict and I think about prescription pain pills constantly, cannot help it. My wife knows, and she helps me whenever she can. Because I have an incurable disease and right now am having painful female type surgeries, I must be on them, there is no way around it. It is possible in the future I could get off of them completely, and I do have that goal of course, but right now it is what it is. I have been addicted since around 2004. :( Anyway, I am finding out, since my Mom went on her trip for 11 days and I have had nothing in that time, save for the morphine when I went to the hospital once, that I am a huge ball of pain right now. LOL. My Mom is nice enough to share her pain pills with me when I do not have my own, which I do not right now. I will have some after my surgery on the 10th, and Laura will help me ration those. I have a very good support network, albeit somewhat of an enabling one, but they try. LOL! My brother is a completely different addict altogether. We’ll talk about him at a later date. I am feeling sick again, so Imma go. Hope you all had a great New Year’s Eve! My Mommy will be back tonight, yaaaay!!!! I cannot WAIT!! I have missed her sooo much. :)

Steph