Taken For A Ride in meh...

I don’t down play the situation that my daughter is in because her boyfriend has put his hand on her before. I’m sure she has put her hands back on him. But after this past week, I’m wondering how much has been just for show.

Okay.

Last week, daughter has said to me that she was trying to find a safe house/battered women’s shelter to go to. I ask if he’s put his hands on her again, she said no, but she can’t live the way she’s been living. She had the support of my niece, who has been in an abusive relationship that she’s just now getting out of. Well she spent the night at my house on Thursday. Friday they were supposed to come pick her up. They allegedly showed up, but then left and she had no clue. Okay…? Then they were supposed to pick her up from work and escort her to my house, get her stuff and then take her on where she was supposed to go, but then the boyfriend shows up at her job and they left. After this she basically said they weren’t dealing with her anymore. She was at my house on Friday night.

Saturday I get up and run some errands while all in the house were sleep. I get home, she’s gone. Business as usual. Saturday night is when she told me they weren’t dealing with her anymore so she would spend the night at her friend’s house who lives near where she works. While I was chilling with the kiddo, the boyfriend comes to my house because he wanted me to hear him out. A lot of stuff he says, I’m going to automatically call bullshit. Then he said, “When I picked her up from work yesterday…” that made me actually hear him out. And it’s not that I believe his word over hers, but I do know my daughter. I know my daughter has a knack for tall tales and elaborate stories that if you ask one question too many on the spot and she gets angry about the questions, she’s lying. I pretty much go into all situations with my daughter with skepticism because she has a flare for the dramatic.

So after I heard him out, I was rather beside myself. I was developing some serious anger inside thinking that perhaps she cooked all this shit up just to prove a point. She called me on Sunday during her break I’m presuming. She didn’t say much, but then asked if he came over. “What he say??” I only mentioned a few things. She had an explanation for it. They both point the finger at each other about taking care of bills. He says that when she was living in the other apartment, when he met her she was $1500 in the hole on rent and he’d been giving her money almost daily and she kept it in a jar on her fridge. Why was she still in the hole? What was she doing with this money? I didn’t talk to her about that part though.

I’m pretty much in the same place as her father right now. The boy would text and call him about what’s going on and he’s blocked him because he doesn’t want to be in the middle of their shit. I didn’t think anything of it because my child seemed to be in distress and I’ve seen her in quiet moments and she’s just shed tears. But when the tears dried I’m assuming they were just crocodile tears huh?

I called my mother Sunday morning to vent. I was so upset and I was going off and crying to my mother. There’s nothing that anyone can do, but I swear… I told my daughter, to not drag me emotionally into their shit if this was all just a game. If your goal is to not mess with this dude anymore then don’t. If you feel stuck in this apartment and you can’t get out the suck it the fuck up, save your change as you can and when you can go. Don’t say you’re a battered woman to get the benefits that battered women get just because you want out of a situation that may or may not be as serious as you say.

I’m conflicted because again, I know my daughter and I know what she’s prone to do. Fine time for me to take a break from alcohol.

Other than that all in my world is far from ducky, but I’m managing.

Take care.
Kindest regards,
Sister