12-29-16 morning in Second 1st

So, we didn’t get to the ATM… and therefore didn’t put the money in my account and last night I just decided that now it’s okay. You see, If we put it in after noon today it still won’t be in until Friday morning when my paycheck goes in anyway and because Rocky has to work tonight he’s not going to get up till at least 2pm. It frustrates me, it’s going to be a day of being home and anxious for the next 24 hours. I do not like this.

This morning I got up just after 5. Washed a load of cloths, have not dried them yet. Haven’t done dishes.... had 2 cups of coffee and worked on my Dragon “diamond” painting. Played some games on my phone and am now in the process of reading “lawyer chic’s” blog. Noticed I had a comment, I do miss checking in very much. I miss having an online community of friends.

Here we are, our own place, we still don’t have people who come over, we still don’t go anywhere consistently. Now, though I still want to go out I need to find more reasons to be home because of all the monetary responsibility that comes with buying a home. I want things do do with my free time that don’t cost anything. Things that don’t cause Rocky to say “Can’t we just stay home today”. Things I enjoy, and can enjoy with others. Like Backgammon tournaments or MMORPG (massive multiplayer online role playing games) in which I don’t shy away when I do find someone to talk to. It’s just that normal conversation turns awkward sometimes and .... and I’m gone. I don’t get on to talk to you awkwardly. I don’t enjoy feeling awkward.
sigh

The world of the internet is so large, how could I even know what I could do.... how do you know you love something if you don’t even know it exists.

I just want more.... more to do with my time, more to love.
When I’m not doing something with my time that I am enjoying I feel like my life is wasting away. Like 6 hours of movies last night.... ugh. I enjoyed the dragon painting thing for a good 3 hours this morning. I enjoyed the phone games… the reading… but who do I share that with. Oh Yeah, the sleeping husband, who started the 6 hours of movies last night and didn’t respond much to any alternatives aside from food.

Shrugs today is another day to search and I’d rather catch up on reading.... and writing .... and playing with the dragon painting thing.

Last updated December 29, 2016