xmas eve. and pat. and service. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

so like i said on xmas eve i went to the xmas eve service w/ my parents, my grandfather my aunt and uncle. [they’re not married they’re my mom’s siblings]. um. it was the 2nd time I’d gone to the one at that church. it’s a nice church it’s just.idinno it seems dark cause the lighting’s dark. and i don’t know the people there. like the one we used to go for the service well my mom’s parents had met there............and then my mom’s choir has performed there and rehearsed there. [or as she calls it ‘practiced’. that’s the difference between an artist and an athlete]. so you know I like knew that church in a way. not that the new one is bad or anything. no i’m just more used to the other one.
So. 4 yrs. ago this dec. 22nd i was raped. [which is the reason i don’t like xmas] and i must’ve.........well i don’t remember if it was that night or on xmas eve. but either i called Pat or he called me but anyway one of us called the other. i was really upset of course. and I didn’t even have to tell him what happened. he knew. he knew exactly what happened. he offered to buy me dinner at the chinese place [which at the time i thought it was the chinese place by safeway. the safeway in that neighborhood closed down at least a yr. ago]. he never clarified which chinese place. though. i’d had plans that night.
Well that never happened we never went to the chinese place that night or any other.night or time. in Feb. my ex & I broke up and in March Pat left us ad so.well we really didn’t go then. i mean we.well we couldn’t’ve. and just.there wasn’t time.then. to do that. i wish we had and i wish.i’d told him more about what happened ad how i felt about it.
yeah i remember. it was on xmas eve actually. I was at the store of all places. and I kept seeing this guy I saw him 3 times. and he was the happiest person there and i told him that. and he told me the same thing. and even now that seems unbelieveable. it’s like really? cause i’d just been raped 2 days before. but ok. yeah i’ve never told anybody that last part.
and now...........there’s time. but Pat isn’t here to do that w/. it’s interesting in a way time but not the person. when he left and when all that stopped and things calmed down. there again was time.