to the tune of Particle Man in song parodies

article man, article man
he could be “a” or “the” or “an”
in terms of language, really important, article man

doesn’t wear shorts, not into sports
but he’s in each and every book report
defining if you are a definite sort
or if you’re not, article man

informal man, informal man
informal man hate article man
they have fight, informal win, informal man

didactic man, didactic man
tends to be a big grammarian
likes to stick to the lesson plan, didactic man

he likes to make a vernacular ban
neologism ban and an all-slang ban
he rules a stagnant and boring land
pedantic man, didactic man

pronoun man, pronoun man
fills in for names wherever he can
can’t be himself, can’t make his stand, pronoun man

because it seems there’s no “i” in “team”
sorely lacking in self-esteem
wonders what names even mean
forgotten man, pronoun man

informal man, informal man
informal man hates pronoun man
there is a fight, informal wins, informal man