Another Day in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

  • Dec. 9, 2016, 4:43 p.m.
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Earlier, I was doing “T minus” for when I’d find out about the job. But now that I know it is a no on that job… today is just another day.



Woke up at -14 centigrade today. Step outside and… it isn’t the cold that blasts me in the face, it is the overwhelming stench of pig shit. I thought the stench would diminish after the warm weather disappeared; but apparently the winds of ice can carry the smell just as well. Instead of driving to the office, I drive to the jail. I need to pick up some paperwork about an Indecent Exposure case. The event happened in August. The informal discovery request happened in September. I’m responding in mid-December. This is the kind of thing that would be unacceptable in a functioning area… but frankly, it is business as usual around here. And not just because of my inexperience. People come to this county and legitimately expect different rules. After all… the County Attorney is going senile and won’t use computers… the Assistant position has a new employee every 12 months or so. And now, the County Attorney position is a big ol’ question mark and has been for months. As to that… I asked one of the jailors about the possibility of “Ren.” All the lawyers and judges I’ve spoken with have diplomatically said things like, “He’s okay as a person but an awful attorney.” I tend to shrug at that a little as I assume they would say similar things about me. Or at the very least I hope they’d say, “He’s a good kid and eager to do well. He tries hard.” Of course, the officers I speak with say, “If Ren is County Attorney, I might as well never arrest anyone all the good it will do!” So… I’ve gotten a very negative view of the lad from those with whom I’ve spoken. So I decided to speak with the Jailors… people who have grown up in this area and may have a better understanding of who “Ren” is. Here is what I was told: “Growing up he was like the rest of us. Yeah, his family farm was pretty successful but no more so than some of the other ones. When he came back from Law School, we were interested in how he may have changed. It was unfortunate. He came back… condescending. Like since he’d gone to Law School, he could do no wrong and we should all act lucky that he decided to return home. He wasn’t always a condescending ass, but he sure is one now!”

In some ways… I can easily understand that. If you grew up in a tiny place where the laws and the government were basically “Do as we please”… when you learn the law, actually get both a college degree and an advanced degree, some people let it go straight to their heads. Coming back here realizing that you are now “super educated” and “know more about the law than the local government”… I can see that going to someone’s head. But… that doesn’t make it right. Hell, I know more about the Iowa Code than some of our Sheriff’s Deputies… but that doesn’t mean I talk down to them. They know more about the community, so I’ll defer to their personal input when it comes to things I don’t know about. And (as happened in Juvenile Court with Ren) if I don’t know something, I’ll admit it. Yeah, that isn’t a great way to appear like a strong, tough lawyer… but appearances are for negotiations and social situations. I’d rather say, “I don’t know how to do this, where can I get help?” and actually do something right. As opposed to saying, “THIS is how to do this” and looking like an asshole when it is done wrong.

So… yeah. That is “the skinny” on the person that is more than likely going to be selected to be my new boss. In every way… not good for the county, not good for me.

Also this morning… I tried to ascertain what possible reasons Joey (God) (see below for explanation) would want to keep me here. Now, I’ll never claim to be able to state with certainty what those reasons are… I may never have an iota of an inkling, technically. But this morning I considered three.
The first, and most pragmatic, is that God wants to make sure someone is working here during this transition. Since every job I’ve ever had was during a period of transition; I am his logical (or go-to) choice for issues of this kind. Not that I’m good at it; but towards the end of every job I’ve ever hard there was some massive upheaval and issue. Stores opening, stores closing, entire department re-hire, total restructure… all of that and more. So… maybe I’m “stuck here” because I’ve proven I can survive massive horseshit.
Second, most judgmental. Maybe God wants me to understand how easily and quickly White Poverty devolves into Racism and Xenophobia in an effort to help me understand this country and the problems affecting the nation. Because I have a pretty good view of that from here. MOST of the people between the ages of 20 and 45 are unemployed in this county. The poverty rate is… well… heartbreaking. Self-reporting from the local government (people who want to look good on paper); 15% of Households in the county live below the poverty line… if you include households who report “no tax return” and/or “self-employed, no tax return”.... that number is 30%. So… arguably… 30% poverty in a county that is 98.3% white. And pretty racist. True, you could suggest that the racism stems from having such an old population. It is only a rough estimate… but the suggestions right now are that the Median Age is somewhere north of 55 years old. So that could easily play a part. Older people are more prone to racism… or so the theory goes. But there is more to it. The old people are casually racist. They are the ones that say, “I don’t like to travel much because there are too many Mexicans.” Okay… racist but not actively hateful. The younger ones can’t say the same. Those in poverty here and are of an age where they “should” be working… they have active hate. And it makes a sick kind of sense. They are white and young in a Country that continues to tell them “This country was made for you, you have all the advantages, you’re all so privileged.” And they don’t believe that their poverty is because of automation. They don’t believe that their poverty is due to bad personal choices. They don’t believe that their poverty is because of greed. They believe that their poverty is the result of “foreigners taking their jobs.” They believe that their poverty is the result of “the government shipping jobs overseas.” And read that again. The Government shipped jobs overseas. Because they entered into things like NAFTA and other trade deals. It wasn’t the businesses… because businesses create jobs, that is the default understanding. The Government costs jobs, that is the default understanding.
Third, I’m too stupid and inept to leave such a broken place because the reputation for brokenness allows me to be this stupid without harming myself or my employer. Because… for example… I’ve got an OWI 2nd Offense case right now. Defense is saying he wasn’t drunk, it was diabetic shock. Now… we have statements where the individual is saying he “had enough” to drink that he “wouldn’t pass Field Sobriety Tests.” Thus, he refused to take any Field Sobriety Tests and refused to take any Chemical Tests. If he had taken any tests… we would be able to prove whether it was Diabetic Shock or Drunk Driving. But he didn’t and the law does not allow us to compel or require chemical testing. Thus… it is a case where a smart attorney might win; but I’ll definitely lose. So I’m thinking… plea deal. Let’s take it from an Aggravated Misdemeanor to a Serious Misdemeanor. No, no… the law I’d be able to apply means it is a Simple Misdemeanor. So, Iowa code 321.277… and a nominal fine. What about 321.265? Maybe. Not sure. What if I combine 321.265 with 321.482? Am I even allowed to do that? Honestly… no idea. Lets throw it together and see what happens? And that may be why I’m stuck here. Because I’m not smart enough or capable enough to leave yet.


When I was gaining my Undergraduate Degree in Religion, we were tackling some translation problems. No, we weren’t trained in Hebrew, Greek, Latin, or any of the “original languages” the translation problems were (unfortunately) researching the history of translation problems. We came upon a controversy called “The True Names of God.” First, in the Old Testament God tells the Hebrews that he is called Yahweh: “I Am.” Research would bare out that “Yahweh” isn’t meant to be understood directly as a name but more as a familiar title or reference. As the Hebrews were a nomadic people (or enslaved) at the time; they would understand that to know a Deity’s True Name would mean to have power over it. As experienced in the Genesis story, God gave Adam the privilege of naming the animals as reinforcement that Man would have dominion over other creatures. Now, if that is true… that the belief was that man was not intended to know the true name of God… does that change how we view God? I argued that, no it does not. Then came the translation problems of the New Testament. The name Jesus isn’t technically written in the original forms of the Bible. Jesus, as we understand it, comes from a corresponding Greek word. In Jesus time, he would have been named a Hebrew or Aramaic name. Not a Greek word. Add to that the old story of “traditional Hebrew has no vowels.” And add to that the naming traditions of the time were that the Father (in this case Joseph) would often call his first born by the father’s name… and we get the Yeshua/Yashua controversy. AGAIN (but far more heatedly) began the argument: If we know the wrong name, doesn’t that discount everything? And again I disagreed passionately. Unless it was a revealed that “Jesus’” name was actually Samantha… or that the name of “Jesus” was mistranslated from the Aramaic word for Satan… or something significant like that… the specific name is less important. All things considered, we have similar things now. Is Wayne Gretsky a different person if he is known as The Great One? Is David Bowie any less impressive if you know that his birth name was David Jones? Or… lets look at me specifically. I was born “Christopher.” In my toddler years, my family called me “Topher.” When I began school, I was called “Chris.” In High School, I ceased to have a first name and everyone simply called me by my last name. In college, I was called “Felix.” At Best Buy, I was called “CK.” And that isn’t including the dozens of other names people knew me as if their only contact with me was seeing me in a play. Do those names fundamentally change who I am or what I have done? Did “CK” have a different history than “Felix?” If “Topher” did something, would it be wrong to give thanks to “Chris” for that action? Of course not. So, provided that it is “Jesus” that you are referencing or talking to… you can come up with your own name for him! And so I declared that (since the controversy was “is it Jesus or Joshua?”) I would call Jesus by the name Joey.


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