last vestiges of trailer trash, re in Random Thoughts

i;ve included part of my previous entry here

My sister and i have been dealing with health issues with our mom. She lives in CA with her bother and has COPD. Her health has deteriorated to the point where my uncle can’t take care of her. She can’t be left alone or regularly take her own meds or get into her own shower. It sounds like they got a home health aide to come in to help, which is really good.

basically, my uncle told us that we have to get her back to WA.

She has no money. She can’t work and is on SSI ($750 per month). She is 61 and on medicaid. She has no retirement.

There ya go. The last vestiges of trailer trash poor lifestyle. Generally when in this situation, us poor get together and take care of each other. No matter what crap is going on in other parts of our lives (and its super heavy drugs, abuse, neglect, incarceration, living by the skin of our teeth stuff).... except for the fact that she is in CA and no longer has that network of people to fall back on.

Well, i have to leave soon for the dr. I will either come back and add more or start a new entry.

Its one of those things where i just do what needs done and forget that i can ask for the shoulder of others. So so glad i have my sister in this mess with me. I don’t know what i would do without her.

Post dr and pho lunch edit....

So, i have applied for and gotten my mom approved for medicaid here in WA, since my mom will be living (hopefully as temporary as possible) with my sister in Spokane. I finished most of an application for other benefits with the state (its in my blood, i instinctually know how to apply for welfare-style benefits. i was weaned on it)

All of this has just happened in the past few days. I was really lucky to reach out to a friend’s mom, who is like a mom to me and she “knows the ropes” because she has worked in the system.

The best for my mom right now is Assisted Living, which feels weird because she is only 61. But its what she needs.

But i;ve hit a stumbling block. She has an airline ticket to fly to Spokane the 18th. My mom is afraid to fly. My uncle thinks she can’t do it on her own. I think they even got a nurse to say that they think its not a good idea. I totally trust a nurse! I don’t trust my mom and uncle, they don’t know and haven’t even looked into anything like disability services with the airlines and airports.

Thats not it! My uncle (who is perfectly physically fit and in is sound of mind) says he can’t drive her up to WA. Not that i expect that- it would be super painful for my mom and her hip that needs replaced.

So. What the fuck? I mean, i almost never use that word. What do you expect? My sister with her husband and two children or me to drive down and pick her up and drive her back? That makes me super irritated. At this point, i think she should just go into assisted living in CA.

Now, i apologize if i sound callous, i don’t mean to come across that way. And, i am not. I am pragmatic. I love my mom. She provided us with love, we always had food, we had clothing. She was not an alcoholic, she was not a drug addict (even though we were surrounded by all of this). Luckily even though we moved every 6 months up until i was 10, i was lucky it was in a small town of 3000 where there was only one school to attend.

But. She was verbally abusive, had a temper that was big and scary. She was neglectful. She would leave us alone all the time, and i was the “babysitter”. She would leave us with whoever were her friends. Sexual abuse happened because of that. To all three of us she was raising (my brother michael was raised by his dad, which i am so happy for… he is not a resiliant soul and would have been more damaged than my sister and i). My youngest brother is (and probably will remain) in the penal system starting at like the age 10. All because of her.

So. I will do the footwork to get stuff done for her, but i don’t feel fucking obligated to drive to California to pick her up, not when i have to get a roommate just to be able to save money.

There it is. Just about as aggressive as you will see me. I know things will work out one way or another. I will get all the info on disability services for her flight and they can make an informed decision about whether or not she should fly.