Wednesday Afternoon in New Diary

I haven’t written in a couple of days. I’m still reading that book about Alexander Hamilton. I had a therapy appointment last Monday. I was pretty anxious that day. I did not want to leave my apartment. I called my case manager and she talked me into going. I was glad I did but still did not want to leave my apartment. I remember leaving at 1:30 and being down there. She was parked out in the lot waiting for me. I timed that just right and didn’t have to sit outside

We went strait to Healthways. I had to wait in the lobby for my appointment. I did not see him until 2:10. When we got to his office I remember him saying that my case manager said I was very anxious. He had me sit in a recliner chair. He closed the blinds and turned off the light. He taught me a few breathing techniques. Basically sit in a darkened room breath slowly through your nose and out your mouth That is supposed to have a relaxing effect and it did. After doing that for a few minutes I did feel a bit better,.

He asked me how I was doing and I said not very good. Anxiety and depression were very high. I said I was upset about the lection. He didn’t like Hillary but he didn’t want Trump to get in. We talked about the election. I said Hillary blew it. She had a commanding lead in the poles and she blew it. He said I was right about that. He said Hillary lost Pennsylvania because of the coal vote in Western Pa. That comment she made about putting a lot of coal miners and coal companies out of business cost her PA and Ohio and WVa. I said that was a stupid thing to say., He said she was very arrogant and that cost her the election.

Then he asked me what I have been doing. I told him I’ve been reading an interesting biography about Alexander Hamilton. We talked sbout that for a while. He asked me who my favorite was. I said Hamilton. I also said he was very brilliant but had bad judgment at times. I was telling him about how he got involved with a couple of swindlers He had an affair with a married woman and her husband was blackmailing him. It was the nations first sex scandal. I remember he asking me if Hamilton would have made a good president. I said he never would have gotten in He had too many enemies.

Then we talked about walking. He asked if we were going out to walk. I said we both have arthritis real bad. He said walking helps with the arthritis. Then he got on me about not leaving my apartment that muchI said we got down to the Thanksgiving dinner at the Senior Center. He said that was good. but he strongly suggested we get out more. We can at leas sit outside. I said I prefer staying in my apartment

Well the session was short and sweet. He let me go at 3. Case manager took me home that day.

Nothing else much has been going on. My mood has been up and down a lot. I think it has been down mostly since my therapy session. I think I have a bad case of the end of the month blues. Then I was broke and out of pop. I swear I get edgy and out of sorts when I don’t have pop. Chocolatechip said she would buy me a case of pop. She called her ex husband He came down for leftovers thanksgiving day dinner,. After dinner he took me to Wal Mart. I got a case of pop said I would give him gas money after I get my social security check.

Also I owe my worker $14 She went to Tudors a couple of times for me to buy breakfast. I am starting out December in the hole. I owe a total of $24 This is causing me a lot of anxiety,. Chocolatechip said that I am not living within my means. She is right. I will not do this again. I will not get doug for transportation because I w ill have to give him gas money. I will not get my worker to go to Tudors for me unless I have the money to pay her back I will pay b ack these people and that will be it. But it is causing s lot of anxiety and worry