NJM 18.. in NoJoMo 2016

Okay okay. I know I missed yesterday. I realized I didn’t write until I had already shut the computer down for the day.

Work was hard the past two days. I am not as young as people think I am. Add in the fibro, arthritis and SI joint bullshit and I’m older than most people my own age. I don’t complain though. I just work through the pain until I’m alone and can cuss under my breath.

Yesterday we worked upstairs. Basically we moved shit from one room to another. I don’t know why these people have so much shit! I mean, I have a lot of crap, but Client #1 and #2 have way more than I ever saw! They have too much money for stuff.

But we got the “bird room” and “red room” cleaned. Yes, she is that much of a snob she names her rooms. smh

Anyways, I’m glad I have the day off. I don’t plan on doing much except putting the squirrel stuff back up and going to town to run some errands. I should clean down here, but as of this morning I’m still hurting. Tomorrow is another day.

My mood is better. We did talk about things and it helped. I told her how hurt I was about things that have been said and the fact that I’ve never gotten an apology for it. So I got one. I know she meant it. I just don’t think she realized how much it bothers me, because I just don’t verbalize my feelings. After pretending that things are okay in front of others while I slowly lose control in private for so many years it’s going to be hard to break that cycle. I’ll try though.

I still need to make a list of things that are on my mind. Yes, the apology helped, but I’m still bothered by the words, the fact that no matter how many times she asks about stuff that happened in the past, I might not remember. I’m not going to give her false memories to make things better. I just don’t remember stuff when it was during a manic phase. And a some little stuff that I can’t think of this early in the morning.

I am glad that we’re living “apart” right now, though. I don’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I’m down here. I can do whatever I want without bothering anyone. I’ve never had that freedom.

Ok. I keep getting distracted. I guess I’ll end this.

See ya!