from: jan. 2011 in My Days

‘’so over the weekend I saw a movie and discovered new music.

I saw How Do You Know Sunday. I wouldn’t reccomend it. I didn’t like it couldn’t figure out what genre it was supposed to be and it was confusing and boring. I thought it was supposed to be a romantic comedy so I was waiting for the romance which. never came. it wasn’t very funny either…but it got some laughs from th e audience. I didn’t understand what was going on between George and his dad.

The girl sitting in front of me was stunning so that bothered me. you know the kind. confident. has it all [together]. her hair looked soft.

So anyway.

I’ve discovered new music. i’m always discovering new music. Judy Collins, Janis Ian [well. they’re new to me. love them both. Janis Ian is amazing], Janiva Magness [blues. i can’t listen to her for too long], Anna Ternheim, Audra Mae and.........Carla Bruni. i don’t understand French but I like her music. Apparently ‘send in the clowns’ was written for Judy Collins. she’s......however old she is and she’s still got it. Anna Ternheim reminds me of Tori Amos, a lot of heavy piano and sweetness.’

‘‘12th

‘i was walkin along mindin my business when out of the orange colored sky....’ - orange colored sky, nat king cole

well not really. I was walkin along mindin my business.

So I’d just gone to Starbucks and was waiting at the curb to cross the parking lot when this SUV pulled up. One of the guys inside [hot but there was something off about him] leaned out of the open window and said “excuse me ma’am crazy question” [don’t you ever refer to me as ‘ma’am’. i am not that old. I don’t even look that old! and i just don’t like that word. i prefer ‘miss’ or ‘hun’ or some other term of endearment. which btw i’m a sucker for]. to which I said “yes?”. i’m not going to just ignore someone who wants to ask me something. He mentioned someting about $3000 and an entertainment center....and who wouldn’t want an extra $3,000. I think what tipped me off about his request was that he said they [he and the other guy in the car] had it at their house and they could show it to me. then they said it’s legal.

And it very well could’ve been.

but being that I’m a woman and there was only one of me and they were 2 guys......just that factor is like, they could’ve taken me somewhere I didn’t know how to get back from........or after we’d gotten the entertainment center they could’ve brought it and me back to my place and. yeah.

Sure I’d like to think everyone in this world is good and honorable and honest but through no fault of my own I’ve learned you can’t always trust people.

Oh I told him ‘no’.

I don’t they singled me out because I saw them asking friends [not of mine. a couple of friends, just 2 people walking] later. er. the couple seemed to be more friends than a couple.

it was weird, random.’

‘’late december back in 63.....what a lady what a night. and i…had a funny feeling when she walked.... - Jersey Boys.

no not that kindof night.

Anyway.

complete w/ flashbacks/sad movie/anxiety.

So I went on a movie date. yay. yes proud of me. The guy indirectly referred to me as a lady. A lady! well don’t i feel classy. [i do, actually. that wasn’t sarcasm. i’m a lady, in every sense of the word].

We met at the mall each paid for our own ticket. That way we didn’t have to worry about who’s paying for what.

He wasn’t that good looking. i mean, not to be shallow. he was. uh. different looking.

We went into the auditorium and sat. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up so I just straight out asked if he smoked, as it was noticable. I really don’t care if you smoke. i’m one of the few people who doesn’t mind it.

oh, and he did.

He was nice. but, idinno. just like everyone else in their 20’s he’s busy, so. there’s not much time there to date.

We got to know each other a bit. talked about physical comedy back in the day. [Marx Brothers, 3 Stooges that other guy.........oh, Chaplin].

We saw tv commercials. yes in the movies. really had I wanted to watch tv I could’ve stayed home. The preview for the movie Beastly came on. I said the dude [the guy who the witch turns ugly in the movie] reminds me of me and Gene [the guy I went on a date with. yes, as in gene kelly. that’s how i remember people’s names] asked why. and i said simply, I used to cut. well i still do just not as much.

It was weird. I’m not an upfront kindof person. I mean, he didn’t judge me on that. no he didn’t really react which is what i always hope for.

I also mentioned Emily Blunt was hot which he wondered about later. like, if i was on both sides or.......? [technically, yes though i don’t classify myself as such. and i don’t feel i have to figure it out]. but she’s a little too thin.

So the movie started after awhile. We saw Country Strong. it was ok could’ve been better. what would’ve made it better is if there were more examples of her relapses. it was a sad movie. I liked the ending and themusic.

I also was all pmsy/emotional, so.

So then we went and drove around ending up in a parking lot. I ate the brownie i’d bought. We talked about sex. as a general topic. He mentioned we could go to his place and watch movies but.........with the night i’d just had i didn’t want to. [had i gone out w/ a woman then yeah i def. would’ve]. and i also didn’t trust myself as far as intimacy’s concerned [given my sex drive was high], so. which he got. so he drove me home.

um.

Oh. before we met i was having flashbacks a rarity for me.

no there wasn’t any intimacy on the date.’

‘ m.

[‘um’. how interesting]

woke up at 9:34, as said. got ready went to the store. nothing spectacular there. It’s, a store not much to say about it. bought a magazine, yogurt and some other stuff. oh I also bought milk.

The self checkout screen told me I needed assistance, somehow. which I didn’t. it also reminded me to put an item in the bagging area which i’d already done.

I left, going to “my place”, sat, drank part of a soda. I do that often in the spring and summer. since it was warm I dcided to. “My place” is just a place by a tree. but i like that place. and the tree.

I put my gloves on since I was getting cold. which turned out to be helpful, and not just for that reason. On the way back to where I live I slipped on some “black ice”, fell. I was fine it was more of a surprise than anything. I rarely fell. The gloves were helpful so in the event that I were to fall my hands wouldn’t be as cold. touching the ice. [when we fall we usually put our hands out first, to catch ourselves. ok i think i’ve explained this enough].

which is why I always have gloves in my purse in the winter, even if it’s warm out.

came back, watched tv.

Besides being careful because of the ice everywhere I also have to be careful walking. I have blisters [which will eventually turn into callouses] on my feet from clubbing/walking around for a good 2 hours after. at least. [what a ridiclous expression ‘a good 2 hours’. those hours weren’t good at all!. and more on that later]. so I have to walk slowly [which annoys me a bit as i usually walk fast. and I don’t like people who walk slowly. if you’re a senior citizen or there’s some other extenuating circumstance then yeah I get that but I don’t like it. well. it’s not so much the people themselves as the fact they walk slowly] and carefully. I’m not worried about my feet recovering. the body heals itself, as my sister pointed out. [put band aids where the blisters are]. it’s just news.

Also......because of the events of this past weekend I’m drained, which means I’m depressed/numb which.......means I move slower anyway. [i know i’m being vague here and it’s not on purpose. I will post an entry about the events].

The thing about being depressed/numb is that there’s not much I can do about it. well ok there probably is but I’m too numb to. it’s like......a. thing. catch 22*.

and that’s how exciting my life is.

[if there’r any implications of advice here please don’t give me any. otherwise, note away!]

wow. what a boring entry.’