Little Baby Tomato in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

I can’t sleep. I started writing this at 3 a.m. because I can’t sleep. I took an absence from Facebook and Prose Box to get perspective and allow myself a bit of a break. In some ways, it worked. I was able to get my head back above water. But now I have over 100 book marks to catch up on.

But… seriously. My family is filled with a wide and diverse group; a fact that is made ever so much worse via Facebook and the Election.
(1) I have one cousin… we’ll call him Jake. Jake was a troubled kid. His father was absentee and whenever he was around; he taught Jake that women are weak, a strong man doesn’t use manners, and if somebody has something you want: take it. Not surprisingly, Jake had a lot of behavioral issues growing up, dropped out of school, moved away from home, and got his teen girlfriend pregnant. They now have two kids and Jake works construction for pretty good money. But yes… in every stereotypical way… he is a proud Trump Supporter.
(2) I have another cousin… we’ll call her Juanita. Juanita is a troubled kid. Her birth mom and extended family came into the country illegally from Mexico. Juanita’s birth mom died giving birth to Juanita. Juanita’s father married my mom’s sister (the one who desperately needs to be committed to an asylum) and together raised Juanita. When she attended college, she was raped and hid from the trauma. She will not attend any other universities. She will not further her education or look for “adult work.” She works as a “Shop Girl” in a comic book store and spends her free time acting as the stereotypical SJW who can’t go more than 3 minutes without announcing how everything in the world offends her.

So both of them have been pissing me off.
Jake posts a new “Build the Wall” piece of racist propaganda every day.
Juanita posts “Fuck White People” posts every day.
With Jake… I say “Wall isn’t likely to be built.” To which Jake laughs and says, “It better be. Fuckin’ Mexicans are already taken over!”
With Juanita… I say “MOST of America didn’t vote for Trump. And those that did… many of them are not racists but people living in extreme poverty and tired of being ignored.” To which Juanita scowls and says, “White people proved they don’t give a shit, so fuck them all!”

Then we turn to my friends and surrounding community.
(1) My surrounding community celebrates Trumps victory. AND I try to tell them that his rise to power is in now way a benefit to them… that he won’t actually make any laws that benefit their disastrous economic situation. And they say, “Doesn’t matter. Hopefully Washington can tell we’re pissed now.”
(2) Many of my friends have become… one hesitates to use the word unhinged… but they have been acting like EVERY AMERICAN IS OUT TO GET THEM PERSONALLY! And I tell them… we can fight Pence’s anti-LGBT bullshit… the racists who are feeling empowered right now will (sadly, but truly) burn themselves out when they realize Trump’s rise did NOT suddenly make it “okay again” to be an Out and Proud Racist. The community stuff should be fought as a community and the political stuff can be fought through politics. Nope… I’m the asshole, apparently. Because I’m told that “As a white man of privilege, I have no business undermining how extreme the threat is.”

What was REALLY galling, though, was one comment. I think it is obvious by how BOTH candidates acted (and their most ardent supporters) that civility and mutual respect have been missing. So I posted on my Facebook page that “Show respect even to those who don’t deserve it. Not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.” And one of my more liberal SJW friends took particular offense to the suggestion. That respecting people who don’t deserve it sullies the concept of respect. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there thinking… who gets to dictate who is deserving of respect? Because for a bunch of decades… it was simply “societal norm” that only rich, white, land owning, men were “DESERVING” of respect. Then society started breaking it down, making it so that more and more people were deserving of respect. So… instead of pretending to constantly have the moral high ground… lets treat EVERYONE with Respect and strive towards a more civil world.... but no, this is seen as super offensive… to a woman constantly bitching that she gets judged harshly by strangers for being overweight and “out there.”

Truly… it is the hypocrisy of “People have to respect me, but I don’t have to respect people” that scares me most in this world.

So… I had to unplug! Which is particularly rough when living in Isolated Tiny Town since the only access to the outside world is via being plugged in. LUCKILY, the immediate nuclear family people were meeting at my brother’s house on Sunday for food and relaxation. A chance to leave Up NOrth County and be around flesh and blood people was an EXCELLENT opportunity. AND FOR THE MOST PART it actually did turn out to be pretty good! But it wouldn’t be real life if there weren’t… hiccups. Again though… everything went pretty awesome. I spoke with Dad and he and I (and Wife) agree that… anytime The Universe wants to give us a break would be nice! Shit… the last three years especially, it is just… every year has been worse than the one before it. And… spoke with my Bro. One of his neighbors is a judge. And when Brother said that I work “In Up North County as a Prosecutor”; the judge’s face went sallow and the judge said, “Is your brother working under Boss?” Brother laughed nervously and said, “Yeah, I do think that is her name.” The judge shook his head and said, “Yeah. Your brother needs to get out of there!” SO a respected judge even tells my brother that, yeah.... it is particularly shitty here. BUT Brother still has his two “optimistic” (and to me deeply offensive) little rhetoric lines. First is: “God has you there for a reason; he’ll take care of you!” This is always offensive to me and even the pastors I’m friends with hate lines like this. LIVE in the world for a while… if you think God just “magically takes care of his people” then you’re blind, privileged, and shallow. God loves his people… it is supposed to be on us to help take care of one another. Or is God just… too lazy/busy to protect Children starving to death around the world? So… yeah, that line always pisses me off. But then my brother went to his best “I don’t understand your issue and I don’t want to” line. As I am discussing how it is challenging living in such an isolated and empty part of the state, my brother tries to offer several suggestions… like “Go to an organic market” or “Find activities you love and go do them” ignoring the whole Empty Wasteland for 100 Miles in Every Direction thing. So he falls back on, “You know… living in Augusta was pretty hard for us, but we made it. So you just need to try harder”

That is… painfully ignorant.

(1) While Brother was in Augusta, he was working full time and getting his master’s degree… how busy or empty the surrounding area was didn’t come into it because he didn’t have time.
(2) Sister In Law was working full time and fulfilling Networking Social Obligations Brother’s Masters Program planned and hosted. So… she got to have a social life sponsored by The School.
(3) Augusta is a town of 200,000 people! Saying “We handled Augusta” as a reaction to “Up North County is painfully empty and isolated” is inappropriate beyond words! In order to match the size of Augusta (one city) we’d have to combine Up North County with our neighbor to the direct west (20,567), our neighbor to the Northwest (16,491), our neighbor to the north (9,185), our neighbor to the northeast (15,321), our neighbor to the east (9,688), our neighbor to the south east (37,044), our neighbor to the south (9,926), our neighbor to the southwest (10,071).... and you’d STILL be 65,000 people short of Augusta! In other words… when we say “It is really hard because it is empty and isolated and lonely”… Brother says, “We lived through Augusta”… except Augusta is a city of 200,000 people living within 300 square miles… whereby we’re talking about 135,000 people living within 5,579 square miles. So maybe that is the shittiest comparative example possible!

And of course… none of it is helped by our painfully shitty local government. As I mentioned… even judges in other parts of the state are aware of how awful my boss is… and then we have The Board. There is a brand new Sheriff and a brand new County Auditor… two important positions that could (through neglect, inexperience, or incompetence) open the county up to lawsuits. AND STILL… The Board hasn’t gotten back to any one about County Attorney hiring. What the very startling fuck? This is a position that can’t just be filled “when we have time.” Either fill the position, or make a motion to the state that the office be disbanded and the responsibilities assigned to a separate county via an E-28 agreement. And… when the Department Head, Department Assistant, and the HR Specialist say, “Hire one of these guys and offer them $85k”.... it is incredibly stupid to say, “No. We won’t go higher than $65k” and it is even MORE stupid for two board members to say, “We want to interview this guy with zero experience. We have lunch with him every week, so he needs to be put on the short list for the job.” In fucking sane.

Well… the time is now 4 am. I’m no more likely to catch any Zzs. I have a hearing today that I anticipate not going well as the Officer can’t be with us. Some files to file and an office to clean. But… as usual… I don’t anticipate my work day to be as enriching or as educational as it really should be.