Rick's going away (pics) in Adventures in paradise

So this image made me laugh tonight :P

I ended up going to both of the events last night, like I told myself I would. Unfortunately, I realized I needed to use a public restroom right as i arrived at the first venue, and I tried to remember where one was, and luckily it was still open at 7pm on a Saturday night, so I used that, but it was so fucking HOT in there I just about died. I had this thought that I’d be carted out of a public restroom, pants around my ankles and the coroner explaining to whomever will listen that I just didn’t make it. And the damn door was hard to open and close, despite it being a pretty clean restroom otherwise. There was just no air in there, so I looked like a drowned rat upon seeing myself in the bathroom mirror upon exiting the cubicle, which is just great when I’m about to attend the first party of the night.
I did take a few photos of some trees that were donned in pretty lights though.

One started at 7pm and the other at 7:30, so I figured that I’d just have to tell the first guy that I couldn’t stay long. Plus I’d never been to Limes hotel rooftop before, so I had to check it out. I went back to the venue after trying to tidy myself up a bit and splashed some water on my sweaty face, and the doorman asked if I was heading to the rooftop and he told me it was on Level 4. As I was waiting for the lift to come down to ground level, two girls walked up holding platters of snazzy-looking food. I’d looked at the website before going and the hotel orders their food from a venue next door and the staff just bring it over. One was like prawns covered with this green powder stuff and the other I didn’t really see because I was fascinated by the prawns. We all got in the lift and one of the girls asked if I was there for an event and I said, “Yeah, Dean’s 30th,” but she gave me a confused look as though she didn’t know who Dean was. “Great,” I thought. Surely he’s booked it! A snazzy hotel like this?
Anyway, I get up the top and there are two sides to it, one to the left and the other to the right with a bar. The room to the left had balloons set up, but both sides of the floor were packed with people. I scanned the room on both sides quickly as I felt awkward as hell being there by myself, but I didn’t see anybody that I recognised. There was one girl who sort of looked like someone I possibly knew, but she was looking back at me with “Who-the-fuck-are-you-eyes” and that was enough to scare me out of there.
I was there exactly on time. 7pm, when the invite said. And no-one. No Dean, no Dean’s boyfriend, none of my workmates, or ex-workmates that I met through Dean over the years.
THEN I had to stand there awkwardly waiting a few minutes for the lift to come back up to meet me. Ergh. This was not a good start. First the restroom and now this.

Anyway, I was kind of glad to walk out of there. It was my least favourable of the parties I was attending that night. I can now say I’ve been there but I haven’t enjoyed there, because I was pretty much in and out. Stuff staying with a bunch of complete boozed-up strangers. So I walked to my next venue, which was a fair way up in the suburb up. On my walk there, I was crossing a street when a voice called out, “Fancy seeing you in this neck of the woods!” and it was my workmate Andrew (who has a bit of a crush on me, it’s kinda cute actually, but he’s not my type). We’d both crossed the road passed each other and I was trying to talk to him, but he ran back over to my side lol. He asked me if I was going to Dean’s party, and he was on his way there. I told him my story, how I’d just been there but didn’t know anyone so I left and that I had another party to go to. Otherwise I probably would have walked with him on the way back there. We both wished each other a good night and off we went our separate ways.

I got to Gerties, where my friend Rick was having his going away drinks, and I was there after the starting time of 7:30pm, but no-one was there either!!! FFS, am I missing the memo or something here?
Rick was messaging me however saying that he was still at his house, so I ordered a drink at the bar anyway. I needed a drink lol.
The girl who served me had a thick Spanish accent and couldn’t understand my order of “Malibu pineapple please” and I had to ask her three times and point to the bottle on the shelf ^rolls eyes^. Then, she said it was $10, yes $10 for a fucking malibu pineapple, and I gave her a note and then she spent ages looking at the till screen, not sure how to put my money in. “Oh Jesus,” I thought to myself. So I waited an entire minute or so for my change when the manager showed her what to do. Turns out it was actually $8.50. Still a rip, but better lol.

I got my drink and sat down. I got literally three sips out of the glass and it was gone. What a waste that was! I’d barely wet my throat (no dirty joke insert here haha).
Anyway, Rick was nice and came down to the bar and I told him I’d just been ripped off for a 3-sip drink and he offered to make me drinks at his place. He had Canadian Club, and I remember when I’d tried that, I thought it was quite nice, so we went back to his.
I’d never been to his before, but he pretty much lives right behind the cinemas there, until he moves to Sydney soon that is. I thought it was ironic that I’d only been near his street recently looking to hook up with a guy (which never happened) and I had no idea my friend lived close by. It could have even been his housemate for all I know!

Rick’s place was nice and he made really good Canadian Club with ginger-ale and even fresh lime squeeze in quite a big glass. MUCH better. Although it was just us two there. He was complaining that his best mate was at another party or drinking at his place or something. Some guy he’s been best mates with since the first day of high school and he was ditching his going away for this other party. “Some friend,” I thought to myself.
Anyway, his other friend, Matt (same name as me) came over, which was nice. I’ve met Matt before and he’s a pretty cool guy. So there were three of us, but the conversation wasn’t really happening. It was kind of awkward and the mood was already shifted to what his mate was doing and where he was. The event start-time was now an hour and a half after the time he’d also stated.
I even joked about it then, asking if a starting time in ‘gay-world’ actually meant 2 hours after the time listed. Because that’s the damn impression I was getting! Especially with the way my night was panning out.
Even Vish and James were at another venue, but that happened to be a restaurant right next door to Gerties, so that worked out well and the three of us walked down there to meet up them.
Rick had made me an extra-strong drink right before we went out, and this was now my 4th (the one at Gerties beforehand, and the three at his place) and I sure felt that one hit me. Hol-y!

Anyway, like I said, we met up with the guys and I gave them a hug. Rick’s friend’s (ie. best mate and co) had finally decided to rock up also, so we had a bit of a group happening. I think there were about 8 of us all up. Three girls (all straight), five guys (all gay). The party started finally happening a bit. I was on my way to being drunk (if not already there). I’m such a tragic Cadbury. I don’t drink often, so a couple a light drinks followed by that heavy one really hit the spot for me.

Rick and I ordered and shared a pizza off the menu and I had a couple of cocktails, since I knew the mixers were a waste of time and money. I had pina colada’s, which was basically just an extension of my malibu pineapple I’d had earlier.

I realized how drunk I was when I was handing my phone around the table to a bunch of people I’d just met and not even caring who had a hold of it. The girls (one in particular) took that opportunity to go swiping through the photos on my phone. I couldn’t see what she was looking at from the other side of the table. I thought, “This could get interesting!”
The reactions on their faces and them laughing their heads off told me everything. They’d come across some of the (many) dick/ass pics, and showed the rest of the table a particular one I’d screen-shotted of this random guy who’d sent me his pics on Grindr who was hung like a horse. Like majorly packing.
I was drunkenly like, “I’m surprised you haven’t come across mine yet,” and of course that set them off, but I wanted to go back to the bar and was like, “I’m not going without my phone” and Rick kindly ripped it back out of their hands and handed it to me.

I get back to the table after ordering another drink and a second pizza (it was yummy and I was hungry) and realised I’d already gone through at least $50 for the night. How the hell do people go out every single night? Are they all drug dealers or something?? I can barely afford a night out once a month haha.
I’d gotten cash out at an ATM earlier. Whenever I go out, it’s just something I do, and that’s the amount I stick to so I can’t go over. I usually get out $100 and I did this occasion also.
Turns out the girls hadn’t forgotten about seeing my dick pics, and I was tell and truly smashed by this point (I know my limit, I was gooooone). I was half having a conversation with Rick and also telling the girls that it’d be easier if I just went to my dating profile (because all my nudes are on there), so I did that and handed the phone over and told them just just swipe upwards to see the other photos.
I didn’t even care. I was totally non-challent about me just showing my private parts via my phone to a bunch of chicks I’d only just fucking met.
Meanwhile, I was having another drunken conversation with Vish telling him what I really thought of him and how much of a cunt he is LOL. This is usual conversation for us. The word ‘cunt’ is a term of endearment for us and we are always calling each other ‘cunts’ but not in the way that bogan straight guys do. Like there’s nothing derogatory about the way we say it, even though we act like we mean it, if that makes sense. That conversation turned into me telling Vish that he manipulates everyone into getting his own way in every situation in life (wow, go drunk-me!) and I think his boyfriend James was even quite taken aback by what I was saying to him. I didn’t care if he was gonna stand up for Vish. I’ve known Vish a LOT longer than he has and I had a lot of material to work with.
Vish was like, “Who do I manipulate? Tell me!” and drunk-me was like, “Really? You want me to tell you? Ima need to make a list.”

The girls had finished looking at my dick pics and giving their approval. I think they’d moved onto other guys profiles on the app, but they wouldn’t see any nudes unless they requested them, and I doubt they knew how to do that, so I eventually got me phone back from them, and I realized that Rick had also seen my nudes whilst I was arguing with Vish.
Anyway, so with my phone back, I opened up my ‘Note everything’ app (which I use for shopping lists and to remember things) and started to write down a list of all the people that I felt Vish manipulates.
It was a very ‘Burn Book’ situation right then and there.
And I just kept going. I was writing down every name I could think of, with Vish sitting right next to me. But because I was drunk, I realised that I’d run out of names, so that list turned into me listing anything and everything I could think of that Vish had done LOL.
Of course Vish was like, “Are you still going?” and I was like, “This is what happens when you piss someone off for 8 years,” and I added (referring to James), “I’d love to see YOUR list!”
Oooooo I was throwing shade something fierce LOL. Of course I was doing it in a hearty way.
And because I wrote this on my phone, I of course can screenshot it and share how ridiculous it is here LOL


The ‘collectively’ is from what Kathy Griffin says when she’s on an episode of The Wendy Williams Show (which Vish is obsessed with, for some reason). I was just scribbling down any old shit, as you can see.
He didn’t get to see the list however. He says that he wants me to explain it when I’m sober. LOL, that’ll be interesting. I have no problem doing so.

Anyway, after Gerties and half the table seeing my erect penis on a screen, Rick’s ‘best mate’ group all wanted to go to ‘Heya’ for some food. The whole time I’m thinking, or rather I said it out loud cos I was inebriated, “Rick, it’s YOUR going-away party, you don’t have to do what they are doing!” but he’s too nice of a guy and was happy to go along with them, so we all went there.
I’d never been to “Heya” before. It’s like an Asian food place right among all the nightclubs in the central Valley nightclub precinct.
What I liked about it was that they did bubble-tea cocktails! Machine wrapped lid and all. I’ve never seen a place that does that before. They only had two options to choose from, but still, a cool little quirk I thought. So I had one of those, which Rick kindly shouted me because he had one also. It was VERY sweet. Like almost sherbet sweet it was that sweet. But still, more booze into my system.
There wasn’t really anywhere to sit or even stand, and I was getting annoyed with the people trying to squeeze by me since I was in the way but unable to move anywhere.
Rick’s other group were all at a table stuffing their faces with dumplings. I then made a terrible decision to take selfies of my drunken ass.
I was posing a bit here, but yes, it is clear I am Seee-mashed lol.


Omg that’s hilarious looking back at that.

I ended up going down to the downstairs area where the booths were, because I noticed a spare one, and my group of friends just all followed me down there (ie Rick, Vish and James) whilst the others all stayed up there.
This is where one of my favourite photos of the night got taken, when Vish noticed the sign that was right above where I was seated. Of course I had to gay it up and pose for it.

It turned out really well, I thought!

Anyway, then Rick said that his best friend, Chris, was getting pissed off at him because we weren’t at their table. “He’s being a bitch,” Rick said.
Umm, who’s party WAS this? I was getting annoyed with the guy myself and I’d only just met him.

We went back up there, but I was the one who was over it and said I’d had enough and that I was going to The Wickham, where we originally wanted to go. Luckily at that moment, a song came on that we all liked, so I dragged Rick to the dancefloor and Matt, Vish and James followed. We all danced to that song (except for Matt, who stood there refusing to dance lol) and after a few songs, we left the venue and went to Oporto because now Matt was hungry, and while he was inside ordering, I saw a guy I thought that was hot and I asked Rick what he thought, and he goes, “I dunno, could be bi. Why don’t you walk over there and whip your dick out in front of his face and see what he does with it?”
I laughed and sarcastically replied, “yeah sure! Right across from the Police Beat. Sure! I won’t get arrested at all.”
We then laughed at a chick wearing a really pretty sparkly dress who was throwing up behind a bench.
When we left there, as we were walking to the Wickham, the group we were just with were now walking right in front of us. “Is that deliberate, do you reckon?” Rick asked.
I doubted it. Just coincidence.

Anyway, I knew the Wickham was my last venue for the night. I had work the next day. I told Rick I’d stay out until 2am, but I only made it to 12:30am, and he was getting up me because I’d said 2am. He was right, but I’m damn glad I left when I did. I was still drunk at work for the first half of today’s shift, I swear to God. Even my store manager asked if I’d had a big night because my voice was all groggy lol.

The Wick was okay. It’s changed a LOT since my hay-days of going there. It was the first gay venue I ever went to, but in recent times it’s since become straight. It’s such a shame, really.
Of course though, the gays who grew up with it still see it as the Wickham, because it still has that name, and it was evident that there were a couple of lesbians and gays in the crowd.
Vish recognised a guy called Ross (who’d been flirting with me on Grindr a few months back lol) and I showed Vish the conversation and Vish said to me, “That doesn’t sound like Ross”, and I was like, “People can change, I guess.” He was only talking about wanting to hook up, nothing major. It hasn’t happened yet, but ya never know. So it was interesting seeing Ross in person so shortly after that conversation. I gave him a hug but I had to wonder if he recognised me. I hadn’t see him in person in years and I’d never been his type (him either really) so it’s weird that we’d be flirting nowadays. Anyway. Such is life.
I also met this guy named Josh that Vish knows, who is this really amazing singer. I remember Bianco Del Rio calling him up on stage at Fluffy to lip-sync to Madonna’s “Vogue” and he absolutely nailed it, choreography and all.

Speaking of Fluffy, Paris Hilton is there next weekend. I’m umming and ahhing if I want to do. It’s $40 and she’s only DJ’ing, but when else am I ever gonna get a chance to be in the same room as the original socialite? lol. I couldn’t really care less, TBH, but it might be something kinda fun to do. Star-struck factor and such, even though she’s not really around much these days.

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough in this entry. James and Rick were both trying to supply me with more booze to get me to stay out longer, which was lovely of them, but no. I noticed Rick was grabbing my arse a few times whilst we were hugging goodbye, which i thought was interesting. That and he kept referring back to the pictures he’d seen of me back at Gerties. Lol. You know, except that Rick has a boyfriend who is already in Sydney. Rick was like, “If you come to Sydney, and I don’t see you, I will hunt you down.” LOL.

I’ll leave this entry with a few selfies I snapped of me, Vish and James.

Last updated November 13, 2016