Same shit, different day. in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so last night sucked. I didn’t make shit and my family managed to piss me off at work because they treated me like shit. I don’t say anything about it to my co-workers because I don’t want them to know how shitty they are. I get paid tonight and I’m $80 short of rent and my car insurance comes out tomorrow night so I’m going to have to dip into my savings to cover it. My car goes to the shop on Monday and I don’t know what’s wrong with it or what it’s going to cost to fix. The heat doesn’t work unless I’m on the gas and it could be a bunch of different things, including a head gasket. I’m absolutely stressed the fuck out about this because I would never have the money to replace that. I don’t think that’s what’s wrong because the oil is fine and there’s no white smoke coming out the the tail pipe but I’m not a mechanic.

I’m struggling to find someone to give me a ride home from the shop on Monday. I’m super annoyed that I told my parents I needed to get it down there and they of course don’t offer to help and even if they did, I’d have to pay them regardless of how much I’ve helped them and don’t even get a fucking thank you. Ugh, my family has done nothing but show me how on my own I really am and that’s yet another reason I’m considering moving.

I had to work Halloween for lunch and then I had my Mom call my brother to ask if I could see little one. His response?? “Probably not” so I got off work and just drove around for a couple of hours because I didn’t feel like sitting at home by myself. I’ve realized that I’m never going to see her again and won’t ask my Mom to bug for me anymore. It is what it is and I refuse to spend any time being depressed about things that I don’t have control over.

Work is going okay. My friend/manager got fired over the weekend and it’s a bit stressful because the new guy doesn’t quite know what he’s doing and slows shit down. I can’t really read him yet but so far, I think he’s okay. He never says anything about lunch breaks so finally my co-worker asked today and he made us food. I just can’t go 12+ hours without food and I won’t anymore, even if I have to leave and get something.

I’ve fallen off my diet but not entirely. I’m not sure what the fuck to do about it at this point so I just try and watch my portion sizes.

I also have a problem with my fur babies. One of them is spraying in the house. I put the one I thought it was outside for the past couple of days (just letting him in to eat and drink) and still came home tonight to find that one had sprayed on the bath mat so I need to get the stuff for the spray but don’t have the money for it because I get to pay rent and car insurance first. I looked online to try and figure out why they are doing this but can’t come up with anything. Nothing has changed in the house, it’s the same routine and they are all fixed. I’m just going to get this spray stuff and if that doesn’t work, I need to figure out which one is doing it and find them a new home.

Anyways, I am really stressed about money and really hope I make some decent money the next couple of days or I’m screwed. It’s been slow as shit lately and I haven’t been this broke in quite some time. Ugh, I’m just stressed the fuck out.

I also get to find someone in this God forsaken place to give me a ride home from the shop and that’s never an easy fucking task. I have asked a couple of people and hopefully I’ll have some help or I’ll get to walk home and it’s a good 4 miles. I just don’t know what it’s going to cost to fix so I can’t exactly offer gas money until I go pick it up and see what the bill is going to be. Again, I’m really fucking sick of doing everything by myself.

Goodnight.