It's Almost Like Xmas Eve Right? in Friends With the Benedicts

Well, I am at my Mom’s staying the night in preparation for my big court date tomorrow. Some, hopefully a lot, of you will be voting tomorrow. I will be hopefully just finding out that I have to pay only the ticket I have not yet paid, as well as maaayyybe a few nominal fees on top of that. I have paid some on it previously, I do remember that, and Mommy does as well. I just don’t remember exactly what. As far as possible jail time? I am highly doubtful, but weirder things have happened. So, if you pray, please do for me. If you send magical fairies to help, I could use some. If you are a patron Saint of good thoughts and better fertility, you are late, but I will take the thoughts. LOL! Basically I do not believe in a thing but I love that yall do and I am not too good for ANY help. I know that shit don’t hurt nothin. It can only help. ;)

Hey, look at this cat on my lap! This is Frankie. :)

And now a FB status, for you slackers who just simply refuse to friend me on there even tho I have saaaaid that I accept all, and gave all my info, ([email protected]) (StephanieLaurenMorgan) and that I wouldn’t even mind having a stalker, might liven shit up a bit, but nooooo nobody wants to stalk someone who never goes anywhere. What was I saying? Ha, here is a status yall prolly gon’ miss. And then more entry going into the status in detail. HA. Am I annoying or what? Yes. OK.

”OK… so I am here at my Mom’s on “Court Day Eve”. I have to be there at around 8:30 am tomorrow. I am nervous, yes, but no I do not think I will be sentenced to jail or anything like that. I’m more nervous about the amount of money they may want me to pay all at once. We were able to borrow some from a very nice and gracious family member.That person knows who they are, but not how appreciated it is - THANK YOU!!! So we will be OK after paying. This month is that, and next month.... UTILITIES ARE COMING. To hell with Winter! Fear the utilities! LOL. I am gonna talk to our landlord and try to see if there is any way it can begin on the 1st of the year. So if yall would send us some good vibes, mojo, a puff of magic, or if you wanna pray - we won’t be picky! LOL. Love you all and thanks for your words of encouragement.”

Anyway… So yea, I have been calling this “Court Day Eve” haha, like it’s some holiday or something. It certainly does NOT feel like it. But - Laura’s Mom, whom I asked to borrow like $350 from? Sent us the check and we received it today for $400. So that was a welcome surprise and relief! She also sent the packing slip we needed to include in the box that Laura’s new shoes that don’t fit and need to be returned came in. We received the shipping label from the company today as well, so those will be going out prolly tomorrow. Yea, her Mom is awesome right now. Her alimony ended from Laura’s sperm donor, so she had taken a cut in pay by being forced to go back on disability. But then she got a break in her insurance premiums and ka-ching! Suddenly, she starts sending us checks for $200 out of the blue, “just because” and says she wishes she could do more and that she knows my Mom helps all the time. It came in handy last month because we used the check she sent to pay my Mom back since they are made out to my Mom. lmao. We do not have a bank account, our SSA payments go on a card just for that purpose. I do not trust myself, or us really with even being able to have checks available to us, and I just know that if we had an acct. it would go negative. Besides, I think I am out of banks in my town that will open with me. It’s that bad, yes. So I am smart now. And yea, I’ll say it, a little proud for staying strong like that and knowing our limits. ;)

Sooooooooooo… in case they ask for proof that I am sick, I have my med records from the Neurosurgeon who did my brain biopsy and diagnosed me with the MS in Feb ‘13. They are the court, if they cannot get access to my social security info to prove my disability payments, then they suck and should be ashamed. I mean, they should be able to with my permission, right? I would think so. So yea, I am somewhat prepared. Better safe than sorry. I am very sure I will at the very least come on here and update a short blurb to let this ole diary know what becameth of meh. LOL.

And now this...............
(A FB status, not to be confusing. lol)
THIS:
”So, for the last maybe 5-6 days? I have been partaking in the marijuana with the lovely wifey. She has been trying for like, ever lol to get me to smoke with her. Both because she knows it would help certain symptoms of my MS as well as she just knows it would be fun for both of us. As a teen, I smoked for the wrong reasons and didn’t really want to most of the time. When I did, it took very very little to get me way TOO high and I stayed that way for way TOO long. I would get paranoid, my heart would race uncomfortably, and sometimes it would give me a headache when I did not have one before. Well, it doesn’t do that anymore, thank Amy! :) So, I have bonded more with my wife, if that is even possible. We’ve been having so much fun! And it helps all sorts of things! I can even concentrate and think BETTER while on it! So, I think we have a new pothead in the Morgan family/household. Amy help us. lmao....”

So yea. I’m not gonna write tooo much about it because I mean, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal as far as things in life go, and really it should just be legalized already. BUT for my wife and I, and for some of the people closest to me who have been telling me I would benefit from weed for a while, it does come as a surprise. A good one, too. :) Laura told me that she is worried I’m gonna stop smoking with her. I was like, why? And she said it’s because she likes seeing me happy. I mean, punch meeeee right in the throat! That is one of the most romantic and yet profoundly saddest things I think I have ever heard about myself. I must really not be hiding it as well as I think. I mean, I would call myself a bitch, even a cunt. But I try to hide that part of me that just isn’t happy and one look, you know it. Maybe that’s not what she meant though. There is a lot of ways to be not happy other than sad, depressed, over life. But ya know what? I am tired of even being any of those. I want to be happy dammit. My wife deserves me happy! And I want to give her a better, happier wife, so that she can be one too! Wow, I did NOT mean that to sound so corny. LMAO. I digress, with my corny ass. Imma go read yall fine people. Love ya. Oooh but first!
I was talking to someone on here bout my brain biopsy (they had to do one to diagnose my MS because it was suspicious of being maybe a tumor in ma brain.) and I dunno if I have ever posted my immediate post surgery incision pic on here, ya know, since they did such a greaaaat job. shakes head, no they did not.

OK, so that wittle bitty ole line on my freakin head? We were told was going to be maaaybe a 3 inch long cut. Does it like dat to vu? LMAO. And then, the surgeon, omg he was sooo arrogant and cold, he said to me after me asking if it should hurt this much, that, no, I should not be in much pain at all. blinks My first nite in the hospital after this, the whole left side of my forehead swell up so badly I thought I was bleeding internally or dying or something. Just, BAD unprofessional handling of a case. I was discharged early the next day. I still have a very deep scar that feels like I have been hit on the head with a machete, and a crater like hole deep enough to put my fingertip into. It is very sensitive and I believe does either intensify or cause on its own, pain.

This is important:

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
A simple copy and paste might save someone’s life.

I think also, that it is important to mention that the people who answer those phones aren’t only there if you are going to commit suicide. They are also there if you feel like dying or just no longer want to live. You don’t actually have to have a plan in order to reach out. They will help you no matter what. They will listen to you and try to help you feel better. And they are pretty good at it. Let’s just say that a little birdy told me and that’s how I know. :) <3

I only wish yall could feel how much I love the woman I am priveleged to call my wife. So completely, it’s scary.

Steph Izzout

Last updated November 08, 2016