Friday Morning in New Diary

I had somewhat of a bad night. I was up at 3 this morning. I couldn’t get back to bed for a while. Finally I got some extra sleep and remember having some weird dreams. I was up for good at 8 just in time to take my morning meds.

I feel a tad bit grumpy this morning. I didn’t sleep all that great last night. Also I think I got the end of the month blues. This is when you are at the end of the month and out of everything. You are broke and out of cigarettes. It is a pretty miserable time for a lot of people. But at least I have cheep cigars. I have food to eat. I even have four cans of Sprite left. I am doing good but I still feel kind of edgy and nervous.

I’ve been thinking about the first of the month. I’ve been thinking about going on the dreaded van. I swear that van driver hates me. Anyways it has been on my mind and by the first comes around I am basket case. If I didn’t have to go out to the bank and get my check I’d probably cancel Four days away and the thought of leaving my apartment on the first is already causing me problems.

I call my apartment my box. I always say I like my box. I don’t like to leave my box. But there are occasions when I have to take care of business. First and the Third of the month are two of those occasions. I go to the bank and Wal Mart on these days. I go to the service desk at Wal Mart and put money on my debit card. I use this money to buy books. . I usually buy two a month because this is all I can afford.

I plan on buying two books on the first. I’m looking forward to getting that John Grisham novel The Whistler. Also am going to get another book by Gordon S Wood The Idea of America: Reflections on the Birth of the United States. Gordon Wood is one of my favorite historians. I think I’ve read almost all of his books.

I love books. . I think I would rather be reading than doing almost anything else. When I am reading I get lost in a book and escape into another world. I am not dwelling on bad thoughts. I am not thinking about things that make me depressed. I am not worried about stupid shit such as my apartment, finances what people might be thinking about me. I am not worried about anything when I get lost in a good book. I get lost in a good book and escape from reality. Books are like drugs to me. Books have always been my drug of choice.