Tuesday Morning in New Diary

I slept in today. I didn’t get up until 8. I had good nights sleep with no weird dreams. I feel better today than yesterday. Anxiety was through the roof. I had an appointment yesterday afternoon. The thought of leaving my apartment terrified me. I just couldn’t do it I think this is starting to be a serious problem. I mean every time I have to leave my apartment I get terrified. I have a hard enough time going down and getting my mail or taking out the trash. I think this is really starting to affect my life in a very negative way.

I like my box. I like staying in my apartment. But I can’t stay in all the time I have appointments . If I let these things go then I will only have more and more problems. Isolating myself it not helping my mental problems either. In fact it is only making things worse and worse.

Yesterday morning things were really bad. I was very depressed and anxiety was through the roof. I didn’t feel like being around anyone. Then I kept imagining that people out in the hall were talking about me. I was actually afraid to leave my apartment. It was the worse experience I felt in a very long time.

Well it passed thank god. I am doing better today. I am doing better because I don’t have to go out. I do not have any appointments until the first of November. That is a good feeling.