I Told Him in meh...

I told Scott.

I said I was emotionally stable right now. And then after that I said “Watch. Now that I’ve said it, all hell is going to break loose.”

Well, at least ALL of hell hasn’t broken loose, but a nice chunk of it is threatening the very threads of my sanity.

Daughter brought grandson to my house and she was wet in the eyes. She said she’d talk to me later. I asked grandson was he okay. He said that her boyfriend was trying to fight her and he made his mommy cry. I’m ready to go down there with a bat and a sharp knife until I remember something my dad said about my baby sister who was in an abusive relationship: “I’ll be sitting in jail and she will still be with him.” So I just made myself available. I sent her a text via son’s phone to ask if she was okay. She said she was fine, it was just life I guess. I told her that life doesn’t require him putting his hands on her and that if he’s doing that she needs to let me know. I have crazy family that will do something about that. Not because they love us, but because they like to fight.

So her dad calls me at work. He tells me she called him at 6 in the morning because boyfriend was being an asshole. He took her to a job interview at a hotel (which she got). Then he told me something I was thinking about, but just didn’t say anything: “She might be pregnant.” Today he calls and tells me that she must be pregnant because when they went to the pumpkin patch this weekend, his girlfriend told him daughter was sick almost the entire time. He is mad and talking about disowning her (as he has said SOOO many times before) if she decides to have this fools baby. And they are determined to be together. Maybe he is her first “true love” if you can call it that. I don’t know what his problem is.

I didn’t have a fish dream so I don’t know if she is really pregnant or not. I don’t even know what to say. I feel like I want to be just disconnected from it all. I already have one child, who tells me before he drifts off to sleep “Gaddah? I really, really like you,” the proceeds to sleep over the entirety of my bed leaving me with nothing. LOL Where is the other baby going to sleep? I can only have 3 in my house. She just started this job like today. We were on the bus together this morning and the subject of a baby didn’t come up. At all. She must think I will blow a gasket. It’s not real for me. It’s not real for me. I just hope she doesn’t wait until she is nearly 5 months and ready for labor and delivery before she says something.

If pro-situation makes me pro-choice, then damnit I’m pro-choice. But the last two mfrs on this EARTH who need to bring a child into the world is THOSE TWO mfrs. Especially if he is trying his hand at abusing her. Nothing, NOTHING good will come of that. I don’t play that domestic violence shit. My best friend when we were kids, her kids’ father was like that. I got between them, and would almost fight him myself. I couldn’t stand him for a long while.

At any rate, this is the latest I am facing.

I also put in two applications for legal assistant/paralegal positions. I’m starting this process because it seems as if I need the money I’m worth like…NOW.

Hope your day was decent.

Kindest regards,
Sister