My family pisses me off. in Since OD is shutting down....

Earlier this week my Mom asked me to come visit and have a beer for last night. I told her I wasn’t sure blah blah blah and then yesterday I was on the phone with her and she said my little brother wanted to know when I was coming. I immediately get angry and tell her that I guess I have to come because otherwise my little brother would be upset if I didn’t. I told her I didn’t appreciate her telling him that I was coming even though I wasn’t sure!!!!

I went out there and my Dad was about as unfriendly and rude as he could have possibly been and this is why I don’t like wasting my time, gas, and effort going there. I suggested us sitting outside, which we did for a few minutes until my Mom decided it was too cold for her. We go in and she was trying to show me odds and ends of things and I was jokingly saying something about how if her and my Dad ever got divorced who would get there random junk. My Dad can’t take a joke whatsoever and was like, “why the fuck do you keep saying that” and I’m automatic uncomfortable but if I would have left, my Mom and little brother would be upset. Well, then we are all sitting in the living room talking and laughing for awhile and where my Dad was trying to watch tv and finally says, “ya know, I’ve been trying to watch this show for an hour and have no idea what the fuck is going on because you guys are talking” and it’s like okay, well my Mom basically forced me out here and nobody wanted to hang out in a bedroom so…yeah this is why I don’t like fucking being there!!!

Then, come to find out the vacuum cleaner I gave them a couple of months ago they fucking pawned!! I wonder if the fucking thing ever even made it to their house or if that’s why my Dad was in a big hurry to get out of here once I said they could have it. They fucking ran it over to the damn pawn shop?!!?!?! Like, wow. It’s absolutely unbelievable the shit they pull and then wonder why I’m done giving them anything!!

I’m still completely disgusted by my Mom being a controlling, conniving fucking bitch to get me out there in the fucking first place after I’ve worked all week, all damn day and I’m treated like dog shit once I got there. More often than not, my Dad is like this when I come to visit, especially if I don’t bring money or food with me. If I’m not trying to buy someone’s time, than this is how I’m treated and that’s why I live a life of solitude. Everyone I have ever given a shit about has been like this towards me and I have found it easier to just be by myself.

I am so glad I was off today to eat, clean, take naps, and just be by myself. I’m scheduled 37 hours again next week and I need to figure out how I can go down to 4 days a week because I’m getting burnt the fuck out and I’m afraid of losing my housing again. I got paid on Friday and it was a big check because I had overtime as well so I’m just waiting for a letter in the mail. Again, I’m sorry that we don’t have enough people or people with limited schedules but I need to go down to 4 days a week. I’m honestly just fucking exhausted and I’m sick of paying so much in rent.

The drama with that girl at my work continues. One of my work mates tells me yesterday that I guess she was going through the sales and I make the most of everybody and “that’s the only reason I haven’t been fired yet” kinda comment. She said that she says that stuff because she doesn’t like me. I said she ain’t the first person to not like me, nor will she be the last. I told her I appreciate her telling me but it’s all good. I’m not stressing about it because I know my job is safe. I honestly just don’t fucking care. Until she signs my paycheck, her opinion is invalid.

Anyways, I’ve napped a couple of times but I’m still hella tired so I think I’m going to bathe and get ready for bed. I’m just super tired. It’s honestly nice to just hang out at home and not have to be anywhere or do anything.