Work soon. in Since OD is shutting down....

I work in a few hours but have to stop and get gas and smokes first. It’s hella cold today and I have a feeling it’s probably going to snow soon and I am definitely not ready for that. I can’t stand the winters here but hoping for a mild one like last year.

I’m worried about my housing again but I’m going to make sure to not put in so many hours and always try to leave a little early every night. It’s just hard because they always want me in early so I gotta try and balance it out somehow. I just can’t lose my housing because I know it’s too hard to pay an extra $100 a month, especially when I’m trying to pay off my stupid credit card.

Been thinking about the roommate since last night and I gotta say, I’m super glad he’s gone. It’s been about 3 months now and I can look at the situation for what it was without emotions attached to it and I am able to look at the bad more than the good now. I still wish him the best of luck but after everything he pulled, it will be a really long time before I even think about having a roommate again. All I tried to do was give him a home and it cost me more than I ever bargained for.

I’m glad that he doesn’t try to contact me anymore and has allowed me to heal and move forward. I do still wish that things could have worked out but I know that they didn’t because of him. I gave it everything I had and that’s why I ended up so heartbroken. You just can’t change someone who is heartless, selfish, and is in it all for themselves. It’s just another story of someone getting used and fucked over who had nothing but the best of intentions.

I had a really shitty summer because of him and my niece’s parents and that’s why I’m glad to just be by myself. I was just sick of being used and being angry all the fucking time. I had absolutely no control over anything and it was really tearing me down. I’d rather be alone then be around people that just want to use me and make me feel like I don’t have a choice but to let it happen.

I get tired of being by myself on my days off but it’s cheaper because even if I found someone to hang out with, it will cost me money and I just don’t think hanging out with anyone should have an expense tied into it. It’s bullshit how so many people just want to take someone’s good heart for granted and if you say anything, than you are fucking crazy. Bullshit.

I’m so cold and not looking forward to leaving my house. Ugh, I hate being cold because it makes me tired faster. Ugh, this is just the start to the next several months being miserable.

Really hoping work goes fast tonight and nobody pisses me off. I’ve decided that if one more person tells me something that girl has said about me, I’m going to text my boss. I’m not going to stand for this person to run my show anymore. I’m sorry she doesn’t like me but I have just as much right to work there as she does. This shit is going to make me uncomfortable and I tend to get really mean when I’m uncomfortable. This bitch needs to get a fucking life and let me live mine.

Anyways, I think I’m going to lay down and get warm for awhile. I’ll write more later when I get off work.