alphabet soup in poetry

I try my best to be
a straight ally to my
friends who are gay or trans or
bi or in every other way do not
fit the old sexual and gender binaries
that are oppressive to even straight cis people
I don’t know how to fix my fucking car
I don’t have more than a passing interest in football
I want to sit around and write poems and jokes
I want to sit around and listen to music
motorcycles seem like machines of accidental suicide to me
traditional masculinity is useless to me too
even though I like just women and
am more or less happy having a peen
I try to be a good ally

but I’ll admit
it’s hard to keep up with all
of the developing terminology some times
I will call people whatever titles they’re comfortable with
but it’s easy to fall out of the terminological loop
when you’re merely an ally and not
at the heart of the word storm

LGBT was pretty easy to remember, I suppose
a wonderful platform for sandwich jokes
a BLT with guacamole
lettuce, guacamole, bacon and tomato
but soon we’d watch it grow and grow
LGBTQ, Q for questioning
for those not quite ready for one of the other letters
for those who honestly do not quite know
but then the other day
I’d learned it had expanded out to
LGBTQIA
I for intersex and A for asexual
all with their own dignity
all with their own needs
but though it’s not my place to say
it’s just a hell of a mouthful
LGBTQIA
important, of course, but clumsy

but more than anything
it sounds like a spy agency
an elite off-shoot of the FBI or CIA
for the best of the best spies
who happen to be gay
the most schooled in espionage
who happen not to be straight

and if there’s a gay warlord
in Afghanistan we need recon on
we call on Agent Steve of the LGBTQIA

and if a drug queenpin just happens
to be on a softball team
and we need an insider on the scene
we call on Agent Linda of the LGBTQIA
and so on

like a trans Jason Bourne
like a gay James Bond
it’s at least a good way to remember
for us allies that long string of letters
it’s a solid mnemonic advice
I try my best to remember what words to use
I try my best to be nice
but my addled mind needs little stories
to keep all the words in order