Giving it another try.. in Tackling 2017

I know 90% of you all probably won’t be happy with me. I know my friend isn’t. My mom is a little worried and Ryan’s mom is very happy… how do I feel? Weird I guess I gotten used to 5 days being myself and now.... he’s here again. Instead of moving in tonight, he moved in last night.

He said that he told this girl how he have been feeling, he been crying and feel lost. He said she was fine until yesterday when he pack his stuff to move back home, she lost it and felt used. He said he felt bad.

Am I happy … no. I don’t feel connection with him I think it’s because I guard my heart right now…

But here is the message he sent me 1.5 days after he moved out

“I just want u guys to know I do care and love u… This is one of the hardest things I’ve done n my life emotionally. I feel horrible. But I was not happy there either idk y it’s just something wrong with me I guess. U did an amazing job at supporting me through good and bad and I didn’t always do the same for u. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for a lot of things. I feel lost and alone and idk.... Just want to know it wasn’t u its me, u were great overall “