24 Hours in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

As I struggled with sleep long into the early morning hours of Wednesday; I finished reading the book I had recently started. Ishamel: An Adventure of Mind and Spirit. In many respects, an interesting book with a message. The thing that really grabbed me though was, to summarize, the Global Math Problem. Explanation: There are 6 billion people and enough food production to feed 6 billion people; but 1 billion people starve. The solution that is constantly used is to then produce more food since the food currently being produced “isn’t enough to meet demand.” However, as more food is produced, the population grows. So the problem persists. There are 7 billion people and enough food production to feed 7 billion people; but 2 billion people starve. The solution that is constantly used is to then produce more food since the food currently being produced “isn’t enough to meet demand.” There are 8 billion people and enough food production to feed 8 billion people; but 3 billion people starve. And so on. As we push production, population grows, and more people starve as opposed to more people being fed… now without specifically calling for a new distribution model… the very LEAST an intelligent person/species could do is try something different to solve the problem… as opposed to constantly relying on the same solution that didn’t fix the problem to begin with!

I finally did get some sleep at around 4 in the morning… giving me approximately 2 to 3 hours of sleep for the whole day. :(
The Juvenile Law Learning was… interesting? Absolute proof that the legislature writes “feel good” laws without considering the actual practical applications. Fact: Foster Kids do best when they aren’t being shuffled from school to school to school. Solution: Foster Kids should, if at all possible, remain at their school of origin. Fact: Most counties will consider measures to keep a child at their school of origin cost prohibitive. Solution: Mandate that cost shall not be a factor considered when attempting to keep the child at school of origin. IN OTHER WORDS… according to the legislature… look at a rural area like… oh… where I live. A child goes to school in LaLaLand 40 minutes away but his parents are neglectful, abusive Meth Dealers. His grandmother in the next county is able to care for him and DHS places the child with her. The child is now 90 minutes away from his school of origin in a part of Iowa where there are no buses and no cabs. The Iowa Legislature’s new law requires the county to “create and pay for” a way to keep that child at his school of origin… transporting him the sum total of 3 hours per day so that he can stay at his school of origin. And the county cannot use COST as a means of refusing transportation. A law that clearly works well in a place like West Des Moines… where one school versus the other is a difference of 2 miles… but out here where one school versus the other can be a difference of 20 to 50 miles or more? Ufda!

I met a few attorneys. Some had heard of Up North County and offered their condolences. For those in NW Iowa… this county’s myriad list of horrors is well known. Many offered a defense of NW Iowa and Small Town living by saying, “It is important to remember Up North County is unique in its dysfunction. Some places operate much better!” So… yeah. Not only did I wind up in a situation 180 degrees different from my last 30 years… I wound up in the most dysfunctional version of that environment. Which I suppose I already knew. I met an attorney from Cedar Rapids, though. I’ve applied to a few places out there. The attorney was very encouraging and reminded me that… in places that actually HAVE other attorneys… there are groups and organizations that attorneys can join. He said he’d help me get hooked up with the Young Lawyers Division and that he was on the Board of the County Bar Association. So… should I get hired in Cedar Rapids… at least I’d be able to find mentors and colleagues and associates quickly. Of course… that is a bit Cart before the Horse here. Of the 5 applications I’ve submitted since realizing how desperately we needed to escape, I’ve heard back on approximately zero. A familiar situation as it sharply mirrors the 2 years of job hunting that passed from Law School Graduation to now.

I ate with my parents before heading back out on the road for the drive up. Seriously… my diet sucks. BOWEL TMI: Typically, unless I’ve been drinking alcohol… I BM once a day or less. When my parents are providing the food, I BM two to three time a day. While there are obviously dietary elements to consider; one thing that has always been true: emotionally anal retentive. I only BM when and where I feel comfortable unless it is an emergency (or I haven’t pooped in days). The dietary and poop-related issues are just a few of the things I’ve considered as my weight reaches 220 lbs. Of course… my job’s demands are another thing that enters into that assessment. But on the drive back to Tiny Town I was listening to a new study that has been published. Two groups of women were separated even further. GROUP ONE: Healthy Diet; GROUP TWO: Unhealthy Diet. Then stressors would be applied… like “running late”, “money concerns”, etcetera. GROUP TWO showed no metabolic differences… an unhealthy diet is processed by the body the same way regardless of stress. GROUP ONE showed an interesting metabolic difference: less stressed individuals eating healthy benefited from the healthy diet. STRESSED individuals eating healthy? Their body reacted like the women on the UNhealthy diet. In other words… the steady, consistent application of stress has as much to do with your weight as the food you eat. I found it interesting… though, of course, in these kinds of tests I wonder how they keep the variables scientific.

I got home late… shortly before Wife got home from work. She said that she had gotten me “surprises… but adult surprises.” Not expecting “adult” to mean sexy; I presumed it was something like… a new herbal tea or something. I suppose I wasn’t too far off. It was a new belt and a new pair of khakis. But they were both for a 38 waist. I’ve been a 40 since before Law School. I thanked Wife for picking those up, but told her she got the waist measurements wrong. She scoffed. I encouraged her to look through the pants in the closet… all of them. And all of them are Size 40 Waist. (Not something that makes me happy; I was a size 20 Waist until my Senior Year of College; a time which coincides with getting medicated for my pain). She looked through them; came out to the living room mouth agape; and said, “You got a lot fatter than I expected.”

Ouch… but also… seriously? The entire time we’ve been married, I’ve been a size 40 waist… and you’re going to frame your statement as though this is new because it is the first time you’re noticing? I figured instead of getting upset, I could bring up the study I had heard on the radio. After all… the last 6 years haven’t exactly been the easiest for either of us (and it isn’t like I ever mention the 60 lbs she gained in the last 6 years!). I mean… a move from Iowa to NE, Law School, marriage/co-habitating, the Bar Exam, the Job Search while working in a jail with limited security, move from NE to Iowa, working with no guidance in (apparently) THE Small Town Dysfunction Capital of the region.... stress. Wife’s response: “That study was done on women, I’m sure it doesn’t apply to fat men.”

Because… this is what I need. And I get it. This is yet another thing I constantly complain about and never seem to do anything about. I get it. But… I suppose these days… I just feel like there are too many balls in the air to stop juggling right now. I have to keep trying to learn this job with limited/no assistance. I have to survive in this shitty environment and keep my sanity. I have to look for a new job to try to get us out of here. I have to keep my marriage at least somewhat going. I have to try to keep in contact with friends because that is what it means to be a friend (plus, my sanity). And just… yeah.

http://southpark.cc.com/clips/anbydu/everything-sucks