Idle Hands in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

What is there to write about? Another straight guy throwing himself at me, another lost career opportunity, more anchors holding me down. There’s a lot of monotony in my life right now.

The other night, as I crawled out of some kid’s bed and wandered to another guy’s place, I realized I was just stumbling around like a zombie. As I left the second guy’s place, I realized, I don’t want to have sex any longer. I really don’t. It’s boring and is just something I use to occupy my time and distract me from how much I hate everything right now.

I have to come up with something that is not destructive and can help me withstand everything until February. At least the date for my exodus is set and I can prepare. I need ideas, I’m thinking tattoos… it’ll turn my destructive need into art. Or maybe I’ll do lots of drugs… but that isn’t healthy. Besides, drugs aren’t really my thing.

I don’t know what to make of anything right now and I definitely should not be making any decisions… but that’s the problem with adulthood, decisions are ceaseless.