Doing okay. in Since OD is shutting down....

I worked 11:30 to 8pm today. It was a pretty decent day. This morning was a bitch and I was about to lose my shit if anything would have gone wrong. That girl I work with that is super lazy was there and of course did nothing so I text the boss. My boss came and I’m not sure if anything was said to her or not but if I’m going to keep working day shift with her, they will either get sick of me complaining and do something about it or they can get rid of her. I like this girl but EVERYONE is sick of her not doing anything. The managers have said things to her and she still doesn’t get it so we’ll see I suppose.

Tomorrow i work all day again and might put in some hours on Sunday depending how many I have by the time I leave tomorrow night. Again, I don’t have a life outside of my job and I’d rather be there then be at home in my own head getting upset over shit I can’t change. I like days off but I never have anyone to hang out with anyway so I don’t mind when I get called in to make money.

We got paid today and I didn’t think we did til next week and my paycheck was a decent amount. I’m happy with it but I have to pay cable, credit card, dental insurance and something else i can’t remember right now. I will have some left though. I plan to get some more cat treats and need to buy some groceries. My anal tear is threatening to flare up so I’ve been taking stool softeners and drinking a shit ton of water everyday. I really don’t want that to happen.

I hung out with that guy and needless to say, he’s a fucking piece of shit. He’s hinted around about wanting to come over but ‘not having gas’ and then last night he messaged me on Facebook saying his phone got shut off and needs $70 to get it back on. I told him that sucks and how broke I was. I’ve NEVER offered this guy money or anything so I’m not sure why he is trying to be moochy but needless to say, we won’t be hanging out again. I’m just glad all of this came to light before we hooked up. It’s just really sad that I can’t even find a normal fuck buddy and that’s why I stay in my own little world!!!

I read this thing on Facebook last night that made so much sense to me and I’m going to put in here because I think everyone should read it. It says, “Stop calling people who don’t call you. Stop visiting people who don’t know where you live. Stop making time for people who don’t have time for you. Stop spending on people who don’t spend on you. Stop thinking about people who don’t think about you. You will make yourself emotionally bankrupt. You can love someone from a distance and I’m not just talking about romantic relationships but all relationships. Treat people the way they treat you and stop over entertain yourself and giving love where it’s not returned. Life is difficult enough without have to beg people for their love and attention. The least you can do for yourself is surround yourself with people who genuinely love and care about you. Most importantly surround yourself with people that don’t see you as an option. There nothing worse than people who treat you like you are replaceable.

I’ve wasted so much positive energy on very negative people who affected my life is the worst possible ways and that’s why I like being by myself. I need to figure me out and make sure I can stop the cycle so I don’t ever get hurt again.

Anyways, I need to get my ass to bed for another day tomorrow.