Wednesday afternoon in New Diary

I had a bad night. I ws up and down a lot. I was up for good at 7;30 this morning. I did a lot of reading this morning. I am almost finished with this book History of American Law by Lawrence M Friedman. It was a challenge to get through becaue it was so damned boring in parts. But I tuck with it and now I have forty some pages to go.

I have some good news. First the interview with DHHR went well. They asked me the usual questions. Lady called asked if I was ever convicted of a felony. I said no. Was I ever convicted of a drug offense. I said no. Was I ever convicted of food stamp fraud. I said no. Then she wanted to know my financial status and if I had any assets I said al I have is $5 in savings and about $.96 in checking. She wanted to know how much I am paying for rent. They had me down at $216 per month. I said I am paying $241because I’m paying $25 a month for a/c. She said my EBC will go up from $16 to $18 starting next month.

Then my case manager came for a visit. I said I already had the phone interview. I showed her the bill from the doctor’s office. I think it was for $172, I asked her to call Dr. Isla. She called his billing. She gave them information off my insurance card. She said they made a mistake and will bill my insurance co. Boy was I relieved to find this out I do not have to make payments on that bill.

We had a nice chat. She asked me how I was doing. I told her I had a bad day Saturday. I said I was depressed and exhausted all day. I complained about being depressed a lot. I said it seems that one day I will be very down and the next day I will feel ok. I can’t stay on an even keel. She checked her schedule and I don’t see my doctor until October. She said he might change my meds. I said I’m already on 2 meds I don’t want to be on more. She said he might increase the dose. She also suggested that I see my therapist more often more like every two weeks instead of one. I said that would be fine. She also asked me of talking to her helps. I said yes I like it when you come for a home visit.

She then talked about the eye exam. for next year. She said the Lions Club will pay for continuing care. I asked her if Medicare will pay for and she said no. She suggested that I start saving money. It should be easy since I am not making a computer payment. She said we could go to Wal Mart where it would be cheaper. I didn’t say this but I would like to go back to Ohio Valley Vision Center. Since I have cataract in both eye I would rather go to a regular eye doctor.

I thought we had a nice visit. I was relieved at not having to pay that doctor’s bill. Then I guess I was thinking a lot about this yearly eye exam. I was wondering how in the hell I can afford to pay for it. When w e were talking about it I was saying to myself there is no way in hell I can afford to pay for yearly eye exams. Then I started going over my expenses and I thought if I could set a side $50 a month that I should have enough for an eye exam next year. Think of it like making payments on a computer or something. This is making payment on a future eye exam.

After my case manger left Chocolatechip came up. We talked for a while and played cards. She went shopping in the morning. She went to the Dollar store to get her monthly supplies. I asked her how the van driver was. She said she misses this one lady in the building who passed away recently. She is also worried about her son who is in the West Virginia police academy. She said it is a tough course. I said I am surprised he got admitted because he has MS.

It was m y turn to cook. I didn’t f eel like cooking. I thought it would be nice to order subs from Foxes. Chocolatechip liked the idea. This one place in Weirton Foxes Pizza has the best subs. I had the usual steak and cheese hoagie. She had something different. I loved my sub. I like ordering food in It is expensive but it sure beats cooking and doing dishes. I guess if I have to save up for an eye exam this would be the last time I can afford subs. Grrr

Well it is time for Daily Affirmation. 1 I have a roof over my head I am not homeless. 2 I have food to eat I am not starving. 3 I have insurance that pays for most of the cost of my meds. 4 I have phone, Internet and cable tv. 5 I have books to read. 6 I have a worker that comes in fixes breakfast and does light housecleaning. 7 I have a wonderful fiancé in Chocolatechip. 8 I am in fairly good physical health. 9 I have a wonderful support system in Healthways.

Life is pretty good. Yet I still get depressed. I get very depressed and I don’t understand why

Last updated September 07, 2016