Things are good. in Since OD is shutting down....

I drove up and saw my friend yesterday. I was super annoyed because they have moved her to a different unit and I couldn’t find it. I finally got there and waited in line for 30 minutes, in the fucking heat, and they don’t extend our time. Ugh, so frustrating but the visit was completely worth it. She and I both couldn’t stop yawning though LOL. I stopped at the Walmart there and got a new shirt because the one I was wearing smelled like smoke and the one I brought had a stain on the back. It was a great time and I plan to return in a couple of weeks.

I decided not to stop and see my Grampa on the way back because the weather was really bad. It was raining so hard I had to pull over for about 20 minutes and I just wanted to get home. I worked 11 hours on Friday and on Saturday. I am also resentful because he comes this way every week and doesn’t even bother to call me and I’m unbelievably sick of making more effort to see people than they do for me. He wasn’t in my life as a child and even now, it’s rare to see him and when I do, it’s because I made the effort.

When I got back, I decided to get a couple more Rubbermaid containers and come home. I cleaned for 3 hours and packed those containers. Whether I move or not, I want everything organized and packed. I vacuumed, swept, did dishes, did laundry, cleaned out the fridge and threw away 2 bags of trash. I also cleaned out the cat litter box and plan to like every 4 days.

I slept a lot today and wanted to organize the hoard of clothes that sit on a chair in my room and get rid of a bunch of clothes I don’t wear anymore but it just didn’t happen. I want to start selling stuff or donating it because someday I do plan to move. Now that I had someone help me downsize, I want to keep everything at a bare minimum.

Things have gotten a lot better because I just feel that I’ve wasted enough time being upset over things I can’t change and if people want to be a part of my life, they would be. I just don’t have the time or energy to chase anyone anymore. It sucks that things are where they are with the old roommate and my brother’s kid but I won’t take all the blame for shit going wrong anymore!!!

I’m glad I was off today to sleep and recharge. I’ve been so busy lately where all I’ve done is sleep, shower, and leave. I feel bad because I don’t spend a lot of time with the cats. I wanted to get rid of them the other day because of them shedding so bad and how they scratch on my furniture when they have a 4ft tall scratch post thingy! I was able to use dry shampoo and brush the one with the longest hair but the other one that’s shedding wouldn’t let me near her. She actually put her paw out and threatened to scratch me. I know that her and I aren’t going to get along and I’m going to find her a new home.

There’s been 3 different people trying to get me to come to work today but I had my phone off and there was absolutely no way I was going to work. I get to be there the next 5 days so I need time for myself.

I’m anxious to hear from the bank lady on the whole house thing but I do want out of here. I don’t want to live by my brother anymore and I want to start feeling like I’m an adult. I don’t have a yard, I share walls with other people, parking is a problem and I want to be able to actually listen to my stereo without anyone bitching about it.

goodnight