godzilla '98 in poetry

  • Aug. 31, 2016, 9:56 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

the first Godzilla was pretty simple, man
he was the atom bomb and he destroyed Japan
the second Godzilla, pretty much the same
except now Angurius could share in the blame
the third Godzilla he fought King Kong
depending where you watched the movie
either could be in the wrong
in four through seven, he fought other stuff
a sea monster and a moth I remember off the cuff
in the eighth Godzilla, we met his son
to the joy and the pleasure of pretty much no one
in the nine Godzilla he traveled through time
taught van Gogh how to paint and physics to Einstein
in the tenth Godzilla he got a bit bigger
was rescued from the honey tree by Piglet and Tigger
the next fifteen he phoned in from a single set
gaining “the one take lizard” as a mocking sobriquet
Godzilla Twenty-Six was a return to form
he saved a busfull of children from a magic worm
twenty-seven through fifty-two were created by machines
that fixed the bad old dubs and restored deleted scenes
in the fifty-third one he had disowned his son
who’d taken to fighting the homeless for fun
by Godzilla Fifty-Four, the big green guy was bored
so he wrote it, directed and composed the score
in the fifty-fifth film, he was the friend to all kids
no one knows why this happens we just know that it did
fifty-six and another dozen, he defended the earth
for no reason than other the place of his birth
Godzilla Sixty-Nine was a pornographic parody
but little evidence as such was saved for prosperity
the seventieth film made on a dare
about Godzilla guarding the Stones at the Altamont Fair
seventy-one was sort of an arthouse thing
he had dinner with Andre and stopped twice to sing
seventy-two was a blur
seventy-three was a stir
seventy-four like a dream
seventy-five is now just a meme
seventy-six was in honour of America
seventy-seven blew up just like Guernica
seventy-eight passed like clouds after the rain
seventy-nine was forgotten and passed just the same
Godzilla Eighty fought against the disco craze
his eighty-first film just a haze of cocaines
in film eighty-two he fought communists
in film eighty-three he ate Alger Hiss
for the rest of the eighties he killed only robots
for his ninetieth story he surely did not
the ninety-first Godzilla picked up a guitar
in the sequel Seattle went and made him a star
Godzilla Ninety-Three was killed by his wife
in the ninety-fourth film he returned to life
of the film ninety-five all the prints have gone rotten
the subsequent two were completely forgotten
Godzilla Ninety-Eight was roundly regarded as shit
it co-starred Hank Azaria that’s all remembered of it


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