I Hope Above All Hopes in meh...

I hope that yesterday was the end of this streak of melt down.

I really am a fun person when I’m not down on myself. Can’t really show it that much because so much gets dumped on me.

Every time I sat still yesterday, I wanted to cry. As my connection bus to school rolled away, I cried. This grass-blade thin crack head looking woman decided that she was going to be my comforter and that God told her to tell me everything will be alright. If I had a dollar for every time God told someone to tell me something. I mean come on. Anyone could see that I was visibly upset. I was trying to decide at that time whether to just go home or to continue my quest.

So when I got there, I figured out the quickest way to get to the building. However, I had no idea where the class was. So I did a bunch of back and forth and then finally made my way to where I would need to be. Then I got to the class and no one was there. Ooookay. I felt the frustration coming on. There was a statistics class next door and I knew it wasn’t mine because there were too many people in it.

Okay.

Walked out into the lobby and was looking at the sheet for classes. Room 108. No one there. Then a woman saw me being frustrated and she helped me get in touch with someone. They confirmed where class was supposed to be. At this point I sprinkled some fuck it on the whole thing and left after putzing around on the computer and voicing my displeasure. It took forever for me to get home as stated previously. The kids were texting me. I told them I was taking the grandkid and running away. I told them that daughter and son can have the apartment and I’d move out with baby. Son texted “Don’t leave me with herrrrrrr…” Whatever dude.

She made burgers for everyone and made me some chicken wings and tater tots for dinner. Which was great because I hadn’t eat anything all day but some ibuprofen. Came home and ate in the dark. Took grand baby upstairs with me and we went to bed doing our talking and book reading. I love that little boy so much.

So now I’m here. On time for work.

Opened internet and got on my school site. I sent a message to the legal studies person and she forwarded my information to the instructor. The instructor sent me an email stating she doesn’t use Canvas (like online school) so call her. I called her back. She said they didn’t stay in class long, I was in the right place. She asked if I’d had the class I’d taken last term because my school record classifies me as a freshman. I told her that I was taking a certificate so I’m going to be undergrad and that I had taken both classes last term. She said that all they did was a quick review and she let out about 6:15. Okay great.

New week to get to work.

So my melt down is over and I am okay for the most part. Just finished catching up on Supergirl and I’ve had lunch.

I was trying to sleep since I think I woke up at like 3 or 4 this morning. The only thing that kept playing in my head was the mangalitsa. It’s the hair pig that people are taking to now days to make pork products. When son and I went to the burger joint this was what I had. The Hairy Pig with apple butter and onions I think. Was pretty good.

So that’s it in a nutshell. I think I’m okay.

Be good to yourself.

Kindest regards,
Sister