Emotional in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

Briefly, for the record… this weekend has not been good.

Last night wife got back from work and we left for DM. On the trip, Wife was extremely irate and pissy because she couldn’t synch her tablet to the car stereo. After she obsessed over it for 90 minutes, she then looked around outside and started shouting that the GPS in the car sent us “a stupid way”. A way that ultimately only added ten minutes to the drive. No, the tablet never synched to the car. My wife’s free Satellite Radio had to be good enough… which it absolutely wasn’t for her so she bitched the rest of the way here.

Then today, I went to a luncheon with my Dad, Mom, and Brother where my dad nominated my brother for a prestigious club membership. Awesome. Glad to see The Successful Son continue to bask in adulation. After that awards thing, we came back to the Parents’ house to discuss the letter that I had sent my brother and parents. My brother decided to take the perspective that I just needed to change my attitude… that, ultimately, I was the problem. Sister in Law had much better advice about trying to simply use my time and get out. Mom just gave me a hug and talked to Wife as Wife was crying due to how much she hates her life. Dad kind of shrugged his shoulders.

When I went to check on the Wife (apparently) I was doing it in such a way as to irritate her… so she socked me in the gut, hard. In front of my family (who said nothing). When I said, “I don’t like it when you hit me.” She said, “I didn’t even hit you that hard. Stop being so fat.” Then later, just the two of us, I reiterated: I don’t like it when you hit me. To which she said, “You know you revert when you’re here. You act like the little brother and it is irritating.”

Then she started asking, “So when are we moving back here?” Uhm… Wife… I get that we both HATE our situation in Up North County… but (as I said to her) I would like to have a job; I don’t want to just move to a different city and then desperately try to figure out how to earn money. To which she replied, “Before you took the job, the plan was to move here and you wouldn’t have had a job!” Yes, obviously that is a different scenario. No Job versus No Job Different City is significantly different than No Job Good City versus Shitty Well Paying Job in Shitty City. So, she got quiet. Angry. And stormed out. Because my answer wasn’t “Lets move to a new place with no plan and I’ll go back to working retail!” After a bit more discussion… the “solution” was for me to start actively looking for work (as I have been already) and then in X amount of time (x being unknown and debated) we just move anyway even if nothing develops.

Super. Good to know how little has changed… just… everywhere. Wife still feels okay to hit me, call me fat, and act spoiled. We both want OUT of the environment we currently find ourselves in; but once again it is totally and entirely upon me to find a way out. Funny. I thought Chapter 2015: Omaha Exit Strategy was the last chapter… maybe I’m just re-reading it again on accident.