godforbid in poetry

Sometimes you see a pic of an ex with her new dude and
you’re genuinely happy because he’s fat so
that isn’t why she dumped you.
You’re just happy to know that
she dumped you because you’re weird
or because you’re broke
or because her family didn’t like you
or because you chew your food wrong
or whatever.
As long as it wasn’t because you were fat
because then, y’know
you’d have to consider working out
God forbid.