Trek Films Reranked (YET AGAIN). in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Tastes change. After four viewings of Star Trek Beyond, I think I’m ready to rank the thirteen films. But then I realized: There’s now enough nuTrek films to really separate them into three series. (TOS, TNG, AOS) These lists are completely subjective and totally biased. Explicitly: I think Voyage Home and First Contact are overrated, and Final Frontier and Insurrection/Nemesis are underrated. To that end, I will simply ask myself: What would Timmy rather watch? I have no doubt my momentary tastes will shift slightly by the time Star Trek 14 rolls around. But for now…

TOS:

1: Wrath of Khan
2: Undiscovered Country
3: Search for Spock
4: Final Frontier
5: Motion Picture
6: Voyage Home

(I usually flip the order the Final Frontier and Motion Picture, but I’m so fucking amused that they shot “god” in the face.)

TNG:

1: Nemesis
2: Insurrection
3: First Contact
4: Generations

(It took me a decade to get over Data’s death, as there was no Search For Data movie. “Plinkett” has already torn apart all of the TNG films, and he’s totally right. Star Trek Generations is the stupidest movie ever made. Anyway, First Contact makes no sense; Insurrection is the closest that feels to a TNG episode, even if there’s an episode where Picard does THE EXACT OPPOSITE. Strangely, Nemesis has aged well. Shinzon’s motivations are nebulous but it’s still an entertaining watch.)

AOS:

1: Beyond
2: The Star Trek
3: Into Darkness

That’s the easy part. Now to unify the list. (I’M MAKING THIS UP AS I GO ALONG.) Again, I ask myself, “What would I rather watch?”

1: Wrath of Khan
2: Undiscovered Country
3: Search for Spock
4: Beyond
5: The Star Trek
6: Final Frontier
7: Nemesis
8: Insurrection
9: Motion Picture
10: Voyage Home
11: First Contact
12: Into Darkness
13: Generations

Opinions change. We’ll see how I feel in three years when Star Trek 14 comes out. Here’s hoping they do the obvious cash-grab of tossing Zachary Quinto with a goatee on a poster. C’mon. Star Trek Mirrored? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.

(Edit 9/2/16)

1: Wrath of Khan
2: Undiscovered Country
3: Search for Spock
4: Beyond
5: The Star Trek
6: Final Frontier
7: Nemesis
8: Motion Picture
9: Voyage Home
10: Insurrection
11: First Contact
12: Into Darkness
13: Generations

I gotta acknowledge how shitty insurrection was, and how awesome Motion Picture was.

Last updated September 02, 2016